For most couples the first few months of a relationship is exciting. There's a heady feeling of positive anticipation before each meeting and feeling of regret when you have to part. As the emotional ties grow stronger and trust builds, there's a sharing of dreams and fantasies. Each date is eagerly awaited, planned for and remembered afterwards. Then the newness starts to wear off and the "honeymoon" is over. Now it's time to assess what's left.

This happens with many couples a couple of months after they first move in together. The mystery surrounding your partner's life and habits when they aren't with you are suddenly dispelled and you're left with the reality of how this person is. You see them without their designer suit and slicked back hair. You see the person without make-up and animated chatter. You see the real person, and you have to figure out if this is the person you thought it was.

Things to look out for in a relationship are:

1. Do you and your partner want to spend time on your own as a couple? Do you have things to talk about, passions to share that occur outside the bedroom? Do you communicate well with each other? If the answer to all, or even any, of these is 'no', then you need to consider where the relationship is going.

2. Does your partner spend increasing amounts of time away from you -- working late for example? If so, then it could be that they are not happy in the relationship and have found a convenient way of not being home.

3. Do you look for ways of going out where you don't need to take your partner so that you can have a break -- even if you've both been away from each other all day?

4. Does the spark seem to have gone out of your physical relationship? Is this one-sided, or do you both feel that it's better this way?

5. Do you make an effort for each other? Do you dress up to go out together if there are no other people joining you, or do you just throw some clothes on because it's 'just your partner'?

6. Do you constantly bicker and disagree on everything, even in public?

All of these are warning signs that your relationship is on the verge of a downward spiral. This is the point where you need to make a decision. You have 3 choices:

1. You can try and fix what's wrong between you without involving anyone else.

2. You can just call it a day because the relationship doesn't seem to be worth the effort to fix.

3. You can see professional help in the hope that an outsider person can help you both see where the problems really lie in your relationship and suggest ways to fix them.

If you have a partner that you believe in, then don't give up without a fight. It's not a sign of weakness or failure to seek professional help. It's a sign that you really care about this person, and you want to explore every opportunity to make the relationship work before you accept that it's not going to work.