The most effective parenting skill in establishing child discipline is working together. It is effective in dealing with behavior problems of children of all age groups and children of your own or your spouse's from a previous relationship. Biological or foster parents can benefit from this skill of team work.
Children are experts in manipulating situations to their advantage. They know that if they can't get something from one parent, they can always turn to the other. This not only creates unnecessary misunderstanding between the parents but also teaches the children to be opportunists. They get wrong ideas and learn to use unfair means to get their way. This can be avoided through team work.
The solution is simple. Parents need to work as a team; they should discuss matters openly and come to an agreement. Once they agree upon an action plan, they must stick to it and under all circumstances support each other, at least in the presence of the children.
If necessary, equally separate the subjects that a parent will decide on. For example, one parent handles outdoor activities while the other handles indoor activities. This will prevent the child or children from being able to play one parent against the other.
Remember, children should see their parents as one unit working together in harmony. They must know that they have to seek the approval of both parents in each situation. This arrangement works very well where both parents are available.
Once you have decided about the methods to be used, you need to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you've decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.
Letting your children know that you work together as a team is important. If they are old enough to understand the situation, it will work to deter future parent playing. If they are not old enough to understand, establishing this routine and foundation of parenting will prevent parent playing from occurring.
More than just parent playing is at stake when parents need to work together. Parenting decisions aren't just limited to going to the park or watching TV. They also include what type and kind of education? Which religion or faith a child should be brought up in? What type of child disciplinary measures should be taken? All of these questions and more need to be addressed. So that all parents are on the same page on what they want or think for their children's behavior and child discipline needs.
