You've made passed the first date Now, what do you do? The second date is about getting to know your date more. The questions are a bit more personal, yet we still recommend that you stay away from very serious or personal conversations. After all, this is only the second time you have met this person.
The Second Date
This could be the “make or break date” for you, depending upon how smoothly the evening flows. We usually recommend going on at least three dates before you decide not to see someone again. Sometimes it can take two or three meetings before the chemistry kicks in.
On the other hand, if you have to give yourself a pep talk every time you go out to meet this person, you might want to consider calling it a day. Going with the flow too long isn't smart. One of you could get emotionally attached and that makes it harder to break it off later. Again, trust your instincts. Remember, it's just a date. If there isn't chemistry between the two of you, don't force it. There are plenty of other people out there waiting to meet you.
As you did before, choose a place where you feel comfortable and one that suits both of your tastes, otherwise you might be distracted and not able to focus your attention on your date. Hopefully on this date you are both more relaxed and able to open up and reveal some juicy insight into the things that make you the unique and wonderful person that you are.
Remember, your aim is to discover as much relevant information about him or her as possible. Take it easy and don't rush things. Remind yourself that perfect people do not exist in this world and everybody has strong and weak traits — you included. Your goal is to gather some fundamental facts, discover more of his or her personality and notice your chemistry… oh, and have fun!
Don't focus on whether or not this person could be “the one.” This is just a date. You are just getting to know this person on date number two, not deciding whether you can see yourself marrying this person.
To do that you should:
• Ask questions and listen carefully. Being a great listener is a major turn-on to both sexes.
• Let them see the real you. Drop the façade, open up, disclose more detail and be vulnerable. You want the person to like the real you, not the person you are trying to be.
• Share yourself — express opinions, desires and interests; however stay away from serious or personal questions. You are still in the “getting to know you” phase.
• Know what you want — it's the only way you can determine if you are a match. If you are sure that you are not ready to be a step parent, find out if they have children from a previous marriage.
• Try to see them as they truly are, not as the people you want them to be. It's easy to get carried away with the excitement of meeting someone you really like and to place him or her on a pedestal, while losing sight of the real human being underneath it all. Trust your instincts when it comes to whether or there is chemistry between the two of you. Don't force something to be there that isn't.
Don't worry if all your questions aren't answered on this date. Give it time and let the information come out naturally. You don't want to appear as if you're conducting a formal interview. At this stage you shouldn't be trying to determine if you've got a life match, so give yourself some room for romance.
