Stress is not Manageable

By: Ejvind Jacobsen

You know what? Stress management doesn't work!

I can just hear you say "What are you talking about?" "Are you crazy?"

Well - the simple fact is that stress is NOT something you can manage. There is a lot of hype about stress being manageable, and it IS possible to be more efficient, and eliminate some of the time consuming tasks you face everyday. But eventually you WILL have to make a decision to STOP accepting more stress altogether.

Stress builds on you if you forget to wind down, so you have to decide to release your stress on a daily basis. And, by the way - watching TV does NOT release stress. When you watch the news or a movie - whether it is action, drama or thriller, you ADD to the stress you have already built up during your day.

We all have 24 hours to spend everyday. That's it. No more - no less. We talk about "saving time" - well what is that about? It's completely impossible to save time. The only thing you may do, is work harder, so that you feel stressed sooner. If you don't take time off regularly to REGAIN your strength - mentally as well as physically - you will end up being stressed - management or not.

So how to fight the stress? First of all, stress should not be fought. Stress is a reminder from your body that you have gone too far. It's like when you feel pain in your knees after having run too much - you stop. Stress is pain in you psyche, and it can look like fattigue, depression, lack of sexual desire, tiredness, and eventually even as physical pains. Don't fight stress - accept it, and choose differently. Because YOU have chosen your own stress!

That's right. You did it. If you don't respect your limits - not saying no, or accepting to do too much. Why do you choose stress, when you know how dangerous it is? There are many reasons, but most have to do with the way you were brought up. You have been conditioned by your parents, teachers, friends and yourself to live your life the way you do.

You have accepted incredible amounts of information as "facts" daily since you were a child, simply because they are being conveyed by authorities in you life. When mom or dad tells you that "working hard is necessary to live in a harsh world" you may just accept it, and for the rest of your life you could believe that to be a fact. You will be affected, and your decisions about work and money will also be affected.

Look around you. The facts you find are true to you, may not be so to others. In fact most of what we hold true, is only true to us, and nobody else. The experts tell us what we have to do, in order to get what we want, and the next day another expert will tell you exactly the opposite. We are in conflict with ourselves, and that is creating big amounts of stress in us.

How can you escape this vicious circle?
1. First of all, you have to accept the fact you are caught, and want to get out.
2. Next, you must start doing something else.. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get the results you have always gotten. Trying to get a different result by doing what you used to do, is illogical, and frankly na?.
3. Thirdly you should make your desire to change visible. Take a piece of paper and write what you want. Don't write what you don't want! And make sure that what you write is positive and in the present tense. For instance: Don't write "I don't want to be stressed anymore" Instead write: "I am so happy that I am living the life I want with loving people around me." Place that piece of paper on your bedroom mirror, or somewhere else you will see it often. Better yet. Make several, and spread them across your walls and doors.
4. Take action. After having started the process, you will need discipline to make the change permanent. Be sure to congratulate yourself every 2-3 days with being firm, and keeping a promise to yourself. Go to a cafe, or invite yourself to a dinner at a restaurant. Visit some friends or do something else that characterizes as a pad on your shoulder.
5. Finally, when you have been going for a while, you will have made a permanent change. Usually this takes somewhere between 21 days and a month. Celebrate! when you have reached your goal - give yourself what you desire. This action will enhance your feeling of success, and motivate you whenever you want to make another change in your life.

Stress is destroying you, and cannot be managed - start changing the circle TODAY.

Stress Management
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