This week has been a real roller coaster at my house. A lot of emotional dirty laundry is piling up at my door. As much as I would like to not answer it, that isn't realistic. Avoidance of troubles is not the answer. I long ago learned that it you let that stuff pile up, soon you won't be able to get out of the house anymore.
So, when I feel as if I am trying to stand up on a teeter-totter, the trick is in the balance. Here, I am talking about my Hozho. This means maintaining balance and harmony no matter what. It is a Navajo word and concept; I am one half Navajo. I have to sort through that baggage; one pile is mine, another my son's, yet another belongs to my husband, and some even belongs to clients of my website design business. There is a small pile that belongs to friends, and even one over in the corner that is unidentifiable!
So now what? After doing the sorting (which is quite difficult, really), then I have to realize that the only pile I can do anything about is the one that belongs to me.
If I attempt to walk around carrying all those dirty clothes, it is going to break my back. I am only going to get angry, resentful and negative if I attempt to clean up everybody else's stuff. Some of them don't even want their stuff cleaned up. I also long ago learned that some people cling to trouble like a teddy bear.
Trouble at the door should be like a democratic household: everyone has to clean up their own stuff! If I spend all my time trying to clean up after everyone I come in contact with, I will never have time or energy for anything else. I certainly won't have the energy to take care of my own stuff. This doesn't mean that I am not supportive of the others. It doesn't mean that I just turn my back on them. It does mean, to me, that I can be supportive without taking on the problems of others. It means that I recognize that I can't make anyone else do anything, and few people are looking for someone to try and control them anyway. I can love them without making their pain a part of me.
The Apaches have a thing called a "burden basket". It is a conical-shaped basket that is carried on the back. I have always loved that name: burden basket. I really don't want to carry other people's burdens around on my back. The next time that trouble comes to your door
, take some time and sort it out. Don't add things to your burden basket that don't belong to you. Lighten your load!
