The ability to quickly connect with and gain the trust of others is a coveted skill because it has huge payoffs for those who can do this with what appears to be complete ease. You know the type. They just seem to have this innate ability to create an instant rapport with just about everyone. Have you ever wished someone would leave the secret handbook on the secrets to instant rapport on your doorstep so that you could benefit from this handy skill?



No such secret handbook exists, although you can find books on the subject for sale and many of them might lay claim to having secrets never before revealed, but I can save you the purchase of a book by spilling the beans on the so called secrets of instant rapport. Again, there are no secrets to it exactly. It is more a matter of knowing how to project an image to others that gains you instant rapport with them.

1. Eye contact is very important and I guess if you did not know that, then it was kind of a secret to you. Not just any eye contact will do by the way. You need to make direct eye contact with the person you are attempting to gain instant rapport with.

2. Another step is regarding your listening skills. People want to be heard and understood. To do this, you must listen to them carefully. If you are only half interested in the conversation, this will be conveyed to the speaker and hurt feelings or an abrupt ending to the conversation could occur.

3. Listening is not just hearing the words that a speaker says, it is also paying attention to nonverbal cues that the other person is projecting. Very often a lot more is said without words through such things as posture, facial expressions, fidgeting, looking away, or failing to make eye contact.

4. Learning to be a mirror is another step that those who seem to have the "secrets" are good at doing. Being a mirror means playing back what you believe you heard the other person saying and pausing to allow them to clear up anything you did not seem to hear right. All is not lost should you misinterpret what was said to you because by being a mirror, you are showing a genuine interest in hearing this person speak to you.

5. Respect personal boundaries and do not come on like gang busters and invade the personal space of another person. Some people are quite comfortable even when you are very close to them, in their personal space so to speak, but others do not have the same comfort level with close proximities with people they have just met. Let the person you want to gain instant rapport with decide how close they want to sit to you when in conversation.

6. Choosing to use proper language at all times is a step to instant rapport with almost everyone. Do not use vulgar and disrespectful language as this is a big turn off to many people. Also do not be critical of another person even if you do not share in their beliefs. Everyone has a right to his or her own opinions and you should always respect that.

7. Memorize the name of the person speaking to you so that you can remember it when you recognize them at another time. People feel good when someone they have perhaps only made quick contact with cared enough to remember their name.

8. Do not ask very personal questions right off the bat, as this is discomforting to a good many people. Let them warm up to talking to you and then they will be more comfortable sharing more personal information with you.

Follow these steps too instant rapport and your business and personal relationships will improve drastically.