I think it is fair to say that you are the person the rest of us dread being near. We do not want to share an office with you because we either have to keep the window open at all times (which becomes problematic on the days when the temperature dips below freezing or soars above scalding). We may have to beg for mercy and ask you not to smoke around us, or maybe we compromise and ask you to cut the number of cigarettes you do smoke around us. It is not the basis for a fantastic working partnership. We might also change offices.



We do not want to sit in a car with you. The prospect of you lighting up makes our stomach curl up in a ball. In this case, even if the windows are open, the smoke still wafts past in great clouds on its way out. So when we get out of the car we smell like you do, gross. God forbid we have to be the car with the windows closed. It is just a place we do not want to go to, to be honest.

We hate sharing living space with you. It makes life at home a total drag. Some of us start finding ways to not be at home so much. It is our way of being more at ease, in case you want to hate us. Some of us opt to stay at home, and start nagging, about the full ashtrays, about the constant smoke which burns our eyes, or the odd disgusting cigarette floating in coffee left for us to discover. We nag about how the house we live in smells. This nagging makes us hate ourselves, so you know. So we, too, start to think about ways of getting out of the house so we can breathe.

We do not like being out on the town with you much. So many places do not allow you to smoke and so our choice is either to sit alone while you go out and feed your habit, or to stand out on the street with you so we do not feel so alone. There have certainly been fights that have erupted over this issue. What if you decide to flaunt it and smoke in places where you are not supposed to, the movies, the hallway, the hospital, the restaurant. That is not fun either. We are co-conspirators without consent.

We are better off really, staying away from you. It is safer, physically and emotionally. We are better off looking for someone who wants to live this life on more of an equal footing. Someone we can be assured will be there in years to come, and will not be our patient to care for.

So what do you do then?