No one, with the exception of that very macabre character Harold, from the movie Harold and Maude enjoys talking about death. Harold, being Harold just couldn't wait to plan the perfect funeral. If our minds ever wander in the dreaded death direction, we immediately switch gears or we imagine a gathering of friends and family members who are grief-stricken, yet celebrating our life. This is a perfect picture and one only the imagination can create. It usually doesn't happen this way because we don't normally tell our loved ones or those we leave behind what we want. People are notoriously lax when it comes to planning their own funerals.



If you have never given much thought to planning your funeral, what others choose for you could send you turning over in your proverbial grave or in the worst case scenario – doing a Michael Jackson and floating around like so much flotsam for weeks after your death while your family fights about where your final resting place will be.

For some reason, death frequently brings out the worst in people. It is supposed to be a time of closure, of respect and remembrance, but it quickly can turn into a huge family feud over everything from how you will be buried to where and when. Unless you get it in writing as anything else in life, or you have a relative like Harold who is going to spend time with you just waiting for that inevitable moment, the time is now to start planning.

The more detailed your instructions, the less opportunity there will be for dissension between those you leave behind. Death can also be a time when others take advantage of grieving friends and relatives because it's too easy for reason and practicality to take a back seat to raw emotion. This is another reason why end of life decisions are better made well before that day arrives.

For example, if you choose a traditional funeral, the purchase of a casket is a significant expense. Don't put your family in a position of feeling like they need to purchase the most expensive casket available because they are made to feel like the amount of money they spend on the casket is a reflection of their love for you. If an expensive casket isn't important to you, make that clear in your instructions that you want a cheap, inexpensive or moderately priced casket.

If you prefer a memorial service to a funeral and you have a significant number of friends and family members that live out of town, make it as easy as possible for those who want to attend the service by specifying in your instructions that the service is to be scheduled on the first Saturday, at least two weeks following your death. In this way, travel will be much less expensive by air, and having the service on a weekend enables people to attend without having to take off from work. Don't be afraid to be creative when making your final arrangements.

One resource to help you easily and inexpensively put your practical as well as legal wishes into writing is www.livingsmartguides.com Take the time now to get a will, living will and healthcare power of attorney and put into writing your wishes for your final arrangements in as much detail as possible. Give yourself and your family the peace of mind that comes with being prepared for the most difficult yet unavoidable part of life.