Nivedita wears almost drab clothes, in fact some of them are quite severe, and although her mom is always offering to buy her something trendy she stubbornly refuses. One day, when her mother was trying to persuade her to dress with a little more style to attend a social function, her mother lost patience and said 'Oh are you going to be so drab forever?', to which her daughter replied, Why not? You do not want me to give you competition do you?



Her mother was shocked. Not once did she realise that her young daughter was almost embarrassed that she dressed young, unlike other mothers who looked much more homely and less like they wanted to stand out! And all along the mother of Nivedita had thought her family were proud of how she looked! But her daughter just felt threatened, and instead of competing for attention, went the other way, making a distinct statement.

Here you had a mother whose dressing style said 'Please notice me' and a daughter whose clothes said 'Please do not notice me'.

Shruti, on the other hand, is a flamboyant, outgoing person. Supremely confident and very modern. She has a mind of her own. Her clothes are vibrant, often a little risque and revealing, despite the fact that she belongs to a pretty conservative community. She is quite clear that she wants to appear independent, progressive and non-conformist. Do her low necklines and high hemlines mean she is easy? No. She can put guys in their place in the blink of an eye and does not believe her clothes are a come-on. But she is making a clear statement in her dressing! Notice me. I am different. I do not conform to your rules.

Arjun is an introvert, solid, dependable and a little serious. He is terrified to look ridiculous so he always wears dark tee shirts and jeans. Even when he wants to break the mould and dress with more style he is terrified of appearing conspicuous. what he really needs is a flowered shirt but he is unlikely to find the courage to wear one!

Kailash is a cricketer and has great style. He is already conscious of the star, potential of being a good cricketer, and loves to spend on clothes, jackets with style, almost flashy shirts, lots of upmarket branded sportswear. He has spiky hair and an earring and a smile to win hearts already! It's obvious that his wardrobe is always going to be one of his biggest expenses.

Vinitha wears such loose clothes, she looks much larger than she actually is. Once, when she wore a tight fitting tee shirt, one of her friends said 'Wow Vinitha, you have a great figure, why do not you show it off? and was shocked when Vinitha started crying! After much cajoling she got to the bottom of the story.

The guys in Vinitha's college used to whistle and tease her and make suggestive remarks whenever she passed because she was the only girl who wore jeans and tops in that college. She became so conscious of her figure, she started believing it was wrong to show it off and started covering herself up with huge, shapeless garments! With a lot of help from her friends, she started wearing more flattering clothes and understanding that the guys in her college were the ones with a problem, not her!

In the world today you have old men and women desperately dressing young, to fight their own insecurity about getting old. You get kids dressing adult to be taken more seriously. You get women in the workplace who need to look businesslike to be accepted for their work and not their sex appeal.

You get artists and musicians trying to make a statement, women who dress just to get a guy, tycoons whose clothes scream money! And then there are the natural dressers, those who wear what they like, with an instinct for what suits them and this is the band of people you want to belong to! They follow fashions but not slavishly, they understand what suits them and adapt fashions to fit in with their shape, size and image.

They slowly evolve their own style, find out what flatters them and wear it regardless of whether it is the height of fashion or not. I mean, if black is the colour of the season there is no point in wearing it if it makes you look like a crow.

By that same token, if blue makes you look and feel just great, fill your wardrobe with shades of it and to hell with everything else! Feeling compelled to follow a trend speaks of insecurity. Do aim to find your look and work on it. It is such fun discovering what you look and feel good in, how people perceive you and how you want to appear. The odd shocker is great to have in your wardrobe, but only for the right occasion. So also the classic ultimate suit or sherwani, dress, salwar or saree for that special occasion.

Make sure you can look casual on a picnic, confident at an interview, sporty at a match, comfortable on a journey (ever notice how people dress for a journey like they are attending a wedding?)Well, you get the picture. You are your own designer ultimately, so take a fresh look at your wardrobe and what it says about you. Then do your editing and embellishing. You will know you have got it right when people start copying your look!