De-stressing can involve home remedies to professional advice to common therapeutic methods. Social psychologists state that an individual who knows they he/ she is about to get divorced must undertake suitable means to control resulting stress. The same advice is given to individuals who are faced with divorce papers. Social psychologists claim that the ways to destress do not vary during pre and post divorce. In fact, they are the same. This is because the individual is faced with similar anxiety and uncertainty pre and post divorce.



Ways to De-stress

Communication: It is very important to talk to someone. It is not necessary that the person has to be a professional. The divorcer simply needs a shoulder and a frank, sympathetic and neutral ear to listen. The communication in most cases follows the format of a monologue with helpful guiding insights from the neutral third party. Talking eases the pain and the horde of negative emotions bubbling inside the individual. It initiates conversation between spouses about their wishes, desires and goals.

Talking helps the individual to gain proper perspective. It helps the individual to realise what is right, important and urgent. It helps them focus and concentrate. This exercise proves helpful even post divorce. Here, however, it is advisable to talk to a professional therapist. The communication is open, direct and two-way. The individual is able to learn of the reality. Therapy talk helps the individual to bury the cloak of self-pity and depression.

It forces them to be strong with a sense of determination. Talking helps them to understand what has happened. The professional therapist makes the individual come to terms with reality. The therapist has to present to the individual the immense possibilities available after divorce. It falls upon the therapist to fashion these options in accordance with the interests of the person.

• Take up a job: The person can start working in a professional workplace. He/she can either do a full-time regular job or do a flexible part time job. He/she can start aspiring to move up the career ladder. This can mean a better salary, cushy perks and a nice comfortable house in a good neighbourhood.



• Go Back to Studies: The individual can go back to school and get a degree. The individual can fulfill his/ her wish to get a higher education degree to get a bigger job. This would enable the person to aim and aspire for better things in life.



• Get a Physical Makeover: One feels better if one looks better. Thus, it is recommended to get a full and complete makeover done. This includes, getting a new wardrobe, maybe even changing your clothes style. The bottomline is to get a makeover with your own cash increases your self-esteem. It makes you feel positive about life.



• Pursuing Your Own Interests: A divorce shatters your confidence levels including your ability to dream and fulfill your own desires. Pre-divorce talk prepares you for the possibilities post divorce. You can finally do the things you always wanted to do but couldn't. Post divorce leaves you with boundless opportunities to fulfill your dreams. You can go on cruises, bungee jumping, learn new languages and skills, take up new hobbies of painting, horse riding, visit new cities and explore new places.



• Doing Physical Activity and Exercise: Destressing involves making your mind and body stress free. The body takes a huge negative toll before and during divorce. Thus, it is vital for the individual to gain complete control over one's body. This gives the person more energy, renewed vigour and enthusiasm to face life. A freshly energised body gives one the peace of mind to focus on what is important. One can only do tasks if the body and mind are in sync and fully functional to the optimal level. Body control and mental peace can be achieved through physical activity. Joining a gym or doing yoga everyday usually does this. In addition, it is also advised to do meditation, focus and breathing exercises to relax and regain total control.



• Developing and Widening your Social Circle: It is important to have a support network of friends all the time. These friends can be neighbours, single moms from your kid's school, social acquaintances or even work colleagues. This social network acts as a buffer zone absorbing every emotion you emit. It provides the support needed during pre-divorce trauma. The group also provides the emotional stamina you need balancing family and work life post divorce. A social network helps you to relax, unwind and share feelings, decisions and reactions.