As of late, I've begun to ask myself is dignity an attribute each of us are born with? More importantly, is dignity something that can be taken away from us? You know. Like when a wicked woman emasculates, or weakens her man. Can dignity be taken away in that same manner?



Before I give you my take on the above, let's first take a gander at the definition of dignity, shall we? Dignity: 1: the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed. 2 a: a high rank, office, or position. b: a legal title of nobility or honor.

I'll let you guys mull over the above definition while I further the purpose for this script by telling you another one.

Let's face it. Relationships are difficult. I surmise, that's the reason why as elder marrieds share their extended years of matrimony, most people are in awe. When you hear there are people in the world who've remained married for 20, 30, or 50-years or more, we are nothing less than surprised.

I've recently been enlightened to the fact that people by default, are difficult. Men are difficult. Women are difficult. Hell, children are difficult! It's a complex situation to attempt to mesh a woman with a man, a woman with a woman or a man with a man, even. Sharing and maintaining a bond is hard work. So, tell me. What's the secret? Is there a secret to blissful unions?

Take the man who finds out that his woman had over fifty lovers when she admitted telling him she had only ten. Is the man's dignity being challenged because his ego is crushed as a result of finding out his woman is as savvy and maybe even more experienced a lover than he? What about the woman who is involved with a man who refuses to view her in a respectful light overall as a decent individual? He generalizes his opinion by admitting to her that he believes all women to be whores and cannot be trusted. How's she supposed to ingest that comment? Is the woman's dignity being challenged or taken away by her guy's unrealistic view points relative to women?

I believe no one can take away or tamper with a person's self respect or dignity unless you give them power to do so. Dignity flows from within. Kinda like self-esteem.

In contrast, I also believe a person can give away their dignity by involving themselves or contributing to negative or disrespectful circumstances. I'll explain:

If a man continues to associate and sexually involve himself in a sexual liaison with women who are married or living with another man, I believe he is sacrificing his dignity in doing so. If a woman continues a relationship with her best friend's fiancé then she is sacrificing her dignity and self-respect. If you have to lie to a woman in order to get her between the sheets, then you are sacrificing your own dignity. If a woman has sex with a man in order to get him to pay her utility bill, then her dignity is being challenged or forfeited.

I believe Dignity is how much you allow yourself to be disrespected or purposely made to feel small at the hands of another. (Purposely being the operative word).

Everyone has a tolerance level of how much crap they'll endure from another. I now I have my level. But isn't that when dignity should come into play? When someone is forcing you to do or put up with that which otherwise you normally would not blink an eye at? Your actions defending your dignity should dictate how much those challenging your self-respect in the first place'll respect you later.

It's an unfortunate for me that I remain in situations and relationship a lot longer than I should at times, becoming a 'hanger-oner." I surmise I do this so when and if I must make a decision to leave, then there is no reason for me to second-guess that action. So if my mate says or does something that normally would make me want to scram, I ignore my natural instincts to leave and remain in the relationship to see how things will work out once the smoke clears. Hey, that works for me; it might not be the move for you.

I must admit, sometimes I get "hot headed," as most do at one time or another. That's when I make hasty decisions. Being inundated with anger then I have to rescind a word or an action later with my tail between my legs. (I hate doing that, don't you?). Also, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. At least once anyway.

Dignity. So tell me? When you read that word. What exactly does it mean to you? Here. Read it again. D-I-G-N-I-T-Y. What's your interpretation of it? I'd like to know.

(c) 2006 by C. V. Harris. All rights reserved.