Though I usually do my absolute best to keep my big mouth shut whenever this subject comes up, I can't help but think to myself...

Did you ever wonder *why* your kids don't listen to you?

Here, in my humble opinion, culled from many years of observation and personal experience, are the three biggest reasons why they don't:

Biggest Reason #1 - You don't listen to them.

Call it whatever you like but, the bottom line is, whatever you put out into the Universe comes back to you. Therefore, conversely, what you don't put out into the Universe doesn't come back to you, does it?

Of course not.

And with this in mind, did you ever stop to think that maybe the single biggest reason your kids don't listen to you is...

Surprise!...

Because you don't listen to them?

Here's the deal...

In my experience, I've found kids of all ages are a whole heck of a lot smarter than most folks give them credit for being and have some really neat "stuff" to say and share with you if you'd just take the time to listen to them.

And maybe...

Just maybe...

If you'd take the time to listen, *really* listen, to what your kids have to say to you and take a sincere, genuine interest in it, your kids would take the time to listen, *really* listen, to what you have to say to them and take a sincere, genuine interest in it.

Is it worth your time and effort to find out?

I certainly think it is. :-)

Biggest Reason #2 - You don't do what you say you're going to do.

In other words...

To put it bluntly...

You lie to your kids!

I don't know any better way to put it.

If I had a dollar for each and every time I've been in a toy store (and I'm in toy stores a lot, I might add :-)) and heard a parent say to their son or daughter, "no, you can't get it today, we'll come back tomorrow", I'd be far richer than I already am.

Now...

Let's be honest with one another here...

When you say to your kids something like (and this is just one example of hundreds I could use here), "we'll come back tomorrow", do you *really* intend on doing it?

Odds are, from what I've seen, you don't.

Therefore...

It's a lie...

Plain and simple!

And how long do you think it is before your kids figure this out?

Not long, I promise you.

Is it any wonder then you're kids don't listen to you?

I think not.

Speaking of and closely related to not doing what you say you're going to do is...

Biggest Reason #3 - You don't keep the commitments you make.

Let me let you in on a little "secret" here...

In a child's mind, the word "maybe" has all the force of "we're definitely going to do it".

So...

When one of your kids tells you, for example, there's a certain movie they'd like to see and they ask you if they can go see it, when you respond with something like "maybe we'll go see it on Saturday", guess what?

That's right...

Knowingly or unknowingly...

You just told them you're going to see it on Saturday.

And when Saturday finally rolls along and you don't follow through on your commitment to them, guess what?

You got it...

You've just given them yet another justifiable reason not to listen to a word you say.

Now, all this being said, some degree of your kids not listening to you can be written off as "kids just being kids" or their "marching to the beat of a different drummer", so to speak.

However, more often than not, to very loosely paraphrase our old friend William Shakespeare...

The fault, dear parent, is not in our kids, but in ourselves.

Well worth pondering.

As a matter of fact...

Even better...

Well worth doing something about!

Copyright (c) 2008 Tony Mase