If you want to be successful in finding the right associate and what you're doing to find a relationship isn't working, then do something different! As the saying goes, for things to alter, you've got to change. Easier said than done, possibly, but some of us are creatures of habit. We dress the way we do, wear our hair in the style we do, go to places where we feel at ease and do the actions we like to do because that's the familiar and comfortable way.



Here are some simple ways to change how you're going about things both 'externally' (actions you're taking or how you're behaving) and 'internally' (your attitudes and approaches).

EXTERNAL CHANGES

When it comes to other external changes - ring them!

Try doing one or two things differently - change your hairstyle or color, go shopping with a friend whose dress sense is poles apart from yours and get their advice, take a small risk and wear something different but appropriate.

Go to a singles dating event or venue you might not normally try. If you've never been to one on your own, try departing on your own. Being there without any friend will force you to wander around and chat to people rather than stick with your mate.

Whenever you're around single people, instead of focusing on whether you'll meet someone you fancy set yourself a few tasks to change that focus.

For example, set yourself the goal of speaking to three men and three women; standing on your own for ten minutes to see what happens; approaching 1 person you fancy and one person you wouldn't have measured speaking to.

Observe what happens. You might shock yourself as to how the focus moves from how you're feeling inside to what's happening on the outside!

Other external changes could be to alter your profile on an internet dating sites, join a dating agency or different dating site, and answer a few ads that you might not have previously - just to get practice in doing things differently.

In other words, step out of your ease zone little by little and simply enjoy the fun of it instead of hoping for what might be. Stay in the moment and take pleasure in that. Do it as a fun experimentation rather than with the attitude or expectation that "This is going to change my life".

Which brings this to making ?Internal? changes?

It is said that negative thought causes unenthusiastic feelings, so keep a check on yourself when you're feeling down - what are you thinking? If you're thinking "I'm not attractive enough" you might need to change your attitude and accept that you are not Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt, and that the person who cascade for you will like your looks. More prominently, they will like your inner qualities, too.

Being positive about you are an important first step. Start recognizing your strengths and inner qualities and acknowledging them instead of taking them for granted or dismissing them. If you don't recognize what they are, start making a list now!

Self-improvement comes from within, with your readiness to make some change on the 'outside' or on the 'inside'.

Remind yourself of the saying about 'Change': "Be eager to change the things you can change, accept the things you can't change and have the wisdom to know the difference".