The saying that “people perish without a vision" applies to businesses and relationships. One of the visible forms of vision is a mission statement. One of the reasons businesses post mission statements where they can be seen is to remind the employees and customers what they are there for. Such statements help maintain focus.



In our series of the requirements of relationships, the third basic requirement of relationships is faith. Faith involves the mission statement of the relationship. Whether it is written down or not, every relationship operates according to a mission statement. In order to modify the mission statement, one first has to identify what the mission statement is. Mission statements often contain how people will be treated and what the goal of the company is.

Uncovering the mission statement of your relationship entails observing how you interact with your partner, and what you actually do. People commonly look at their relationships through a template that adds meaning and interpretation. Those templates also act as blinders that interfere with observing what is actually going on.

Consider how conflicts are dealt with. Are they generally resolved? What are the patterns as to how they are resolved? How do conflicts begin? What are the objects of conflict? How do they end? What threats are made? How do the two of you talk to or refer to each other? Answering such questions provides clues as to what your relationship mission statement is regarding ‘customer service’. There are often discrepancies between how you thought things were going with your spouse and what is actually going on, much like there are often differences between what the intent of a business mission is and what actually occurs. Another area where there may be problems is if there are differences between what you say and what you do. If you tell your partner they are they are the love of your life and then you talk to them harshly or ignore them during conflicts there are discrepancies.

1.Identify the mission statement of your relationship.

2.Correct any discrepancies between what you say and what you do.

3.Correct any discrepancies between what you thought you did, or what you intended, or what you fantasized and what you actually do.

Besides defining customer relations, a mission statement also identifies what the goal of the relationship is. In discovering what the goal of your relationship is, ask yourself what goals have been defined? Do both of you clearly share the same goals? Do your actions enable or disable the efforts to reach those goals? Given that as humans we operate on goal driven basis, if you followed the trajectory of your actions do they take you where you want to go? What direction are you headed? Without a clear goal, people often wander around with a feeling of being lost, without purpose and lacking any sense of accomplishment. Accompanying the lack of goal is a sense of resignation, since without a goal one must settle for wherever they are. Clear goals provide direction, purpose and underlie a sense of accomplishment. A clear goal also provides a reference point to know whether one is making any kind of progress and to evaluate what is truly important. Distractions can be avoided easier when a couple is focused on their goals.

Once you have a clearer sense of the goals, consider what actions are needed to achieve those goals. In setting goals, there is a need for periodic ‘course corrections’. Course corrections may be necessary due to a change in finances, health, deaths or traumas. Any journey always involves course corrections. When corrections are done routinely, they will not seem so drastic.

4.Identify and clearly define the goal or goals of your relationship.

5.Recognize that goals often need refining and ‘course corrections’.

Although not formally stated in mission statements, another aspect of faith is involved in developing them. In setting how to treat customers and what the goal is the presumption that the goal is achievable. The sense of believing in the possibility of fulfilling the mission and achieving the goal is behind any mission statement. In relationships this shows up as belief in your partner and providing encouragement.

6. Recognize and acknowledge the potential of yourself and your partner.

Motivational speakers know the importance of believing that a goal is possible. This sense of believing or having faith in the achievability of the mission statement is commonly shown as enthusiasm. If your relationship lacks enthusiasm, it is likely because you have more faith in failure than in success. Enthusiasm is often contagious. As humans we enjoy being around someone who sees the potential rather than someone who always points out our failures.

This brings me back to “without a vision, the people perish". In relationships, the establishment of a mission statement, with goals provides a vision, purpose and direction. When it is seen as achievable or believable, there will be enthusiasm for the relationship and achieving the goal. Having the mission, also enables couple to better weather the distractions and challenges they face, rather than allowing those things to keep them from their task.