One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband is his sense of humor. He just makes me laugh, even in a difficult situation, and it consistently lifts my spirit.

You do not have to be a comedian. The biggest tip I give to people that think they are not funny is to work on the element of surprise. The unexpected just makes people giggle! For example, John slipped into bed one night when his wife was nearly asleep with his feet at her head and head at her feet. She mumbled something to him, and rolled over for a snuggle, and burst into hysterics when she realized she was nuzzling his foot. This was so out of character for him, it built up excitement for her, happy to be with such a fun man.

Calvin entered the kitchen one night while she was cooking (the kids were away), wearing nothing except a paper bag on his head. "Honey, would you know me even if you could not see my face??" She double over in laughter, surprised he was naked, surprised he was in the middle of the kitchen. He said, "And she couldn't resist a kiss then, on my chest since my head was covered up, and one thing leads to another when you are naked. It was a fun night for both of us." Humor was part of the foreplay for Calvin's wife.

Even small gestures are funny and affectionate at the same time. Matt rolled over on top of his wife to get out of the bed on her side. He told her that is was lonely getting our on his side by himself every day, and he wanted to start the day out right. She smiled and felt loved the rest of the day.

These candid funny stories are only funny because they are harmless. Some people naturally tend to make people the butt of their jokes. Even when it is not meant to harm, it can still subconsciously hurt the other person, and certainly does nothing to bring a couple together. Dennis always made Jen the butt of his jokes, poking playful fun at her idiosyncracies in front of others, making jokes about her cooking. After he took my Light Your Fire marriage counseling alternative course, he realized that this was just plain mean. The next time they had a dinner party, she was talking about a class she took in ESP. He had made fun of that before, but this time he put his arm around her and told their friends how excited he was for her to explore her interests. Later she confessed she was totally caught off guard, was expecting a joke. Instead she felt not only supported, but that he was proud enough to brag to friends.

How to tell if something is funny or not:

Is the joke about something sensitive to her?

Is this a weakness that you are poking fun of?

Are you sharing something too private with others?

Could she in any way be humiliated even a little?

Bring the humor out, find your playful side, and be careful not to make fun of her or others. The humor and element of surprise will go a long way.