Being told that you have breast cancer can be devastating. Your first thought may be: "Am I going to die?" or "...get this cancer out of me". These feelings are reasonable; there's no doubt about it cancer turns



your world upside down.

As a breast cancer survivor, I now know that we go through several psychological steps in dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis.

#1

Shock

Being given the news is shocking. But it's also difficult to believe that you have something as serious as breast cancer. You thought that you took good care of yourself and then, sometimes, without a single symptom, your world is shattered. Many women feel that the initial shock is the worst part of the breast cancer journey.

#2

Anger

You may feel like your body betrayed you. And in spite of your fear of what is yet to come, your anger makes you just want to "get rid of it". At this stage, it's best to take it a little slow and let the news sink in. There's usually enough time between initial diagnosis and the beginning of treatment to make any decisions. You don't want to make It's not the time to make decisions that you may regret later.

#3

Investigation

You've had time to let things sink in a little and now it's time to make decisions about different treatment options and which doctors to use. Every woman is different as to the degree of their investigation. We may do extensive research or we may depend on family or friends to help with our choices. Others may want to rely on our doctors to help make the decision. No matter what you ultimately decide to do, it won't be the wrong decision. When exploring your options, your main consideration may be whether or not to have a mastectomy or pursue a different course of action.

#4

Guilt

Many women will tend to feel guilty for having cancer - a sense that maybe you could have taken better care of yourself so that this wouldn't have happened. Unfortunately, we don't have control over whether or not we will get cancer - its selectiveness is so random. We can only take measures to reduce the chances of getting it.

#5

Acceptance

You have gone through the emotional upheaval and have done your research. Now it's time to deal with it. You know everything that you want to know, you know what you want to do, and now it's time to do it. The initial shock of your diagnosis has passed, and you know the pros and cons of your treatment options.

#6

Dealing with It

The treatment phase can be very stressful and physically challenging. This period, in many ways, is an improvement over the earlier stages because you are actually doing something to try to defeat the illness. During this time, allow family and friends to support you by helping you with the daily routine, let them. Conserve your strength to fight the cancer. Or you may find that the number of people who were supportive in the beginning are now starting to dwindle. At this point you may want to consider joining a breast cancer support group where you'll find women going through the same thing. It can be an immense help.

#7

Post Treatment Sadness

When you're finished with your treatment you may find yourself in a bit of a strange mood or even be depressed. This stage may last several months or more. Often, doctors will call this a type of separation anxiety. You were preoccupied during your intense treatment phase and now it's over. Now what? Anxiety and the possibility of depression are not uncommon. Many women find that this is the time when they really need the support group. Some women may also want to seek professional guidance. This is completely normal.

#8

Moving On

Sometimes, it may feel like life will never get back to normal. Your life has changed, maybe even for the better in certain ways. Yet we look for a breakthrough. During this phase a dear friend of mine sent me a card that said "....and then when it seems we will never smile again, life comes back." And you know what? It's true.

Copyright (c) 2008 Lynne Hagan