As an OB/GYN doctor who practiced for 18 years and delivered nearly 2000 babies, I can tell you that the birth of a baby is truly a miracle. Having started as a microscopic speck of protoplasm from two different people, nine months later a miniature human being with all of its parts is pushed into the world comprised of genetic material from both parents. From the moment of conception, after developing in the aquatic environment of the uterus, and then forced out into this noisy, glaringly bright, shivery cold world, this baby will quickly grow to express itself and will have attitudes and opinions. What attitudes and opinions? Are they inherited like blue eyes or curly hair?



Some personality traits seem to be inherent in a child. More miraculous still is the fact that a child who is loved, nurtured, accepted, respected, encouraged, supported, and appreciated will learn those behaviors and easily express them in his life but a child who is unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, ignored, or worse, neglected or abused will likely struggle forever to have a normal life. The home environment can influence what a child becomes, from severely psychologically impaired to self-confident with tremendous potential for success.

Knowing this, it seems a shame that people become parents with practically no education about how to be good parents. If we were fortunate enough to have great parents, we might have a chance at being good parents. However, some of us did not have excellent parents, nor did we take any classes on the importance of how to positively influence the attitudes and opinions of our babies. In order to help them grow into productive, inspired, healthy humans, we must be productive inspired healthy adults with an understanding of the power of our words and behavior.

Here are Eight Rules for Raising Great Kids:

1. When you speak to your child, recreate the feelings you had when she was born. Remember the joy you felt back then and feel it again now.

2. Words are powerful, so choose them wisely. If you discipline or make corrections, criticize the behavior, not the child. Your child needs to know you

love him unequivocally.

3. Respect her as a person. Imagine yourself at your child's age. Didn't you feel mature enough to make your own decisions? You may have let go of what

you want for her. Empathize with her now and trust her do the right thing.

4. Set boundaries and stick to them. Studies have shown that children prefer to have rules and they flourish when they know what is expected of them.

5. Only speak positively about your spouse. (This is especially important if you are divorced.) Remember that you would not have your child if it wasn't

for your spouse. You psychologically injure your child when you express anger, dissatisfaction, or hatred about his other parent to him.

6. Remember that you are only human. No one is perfect. It is alright to apologize and say ?I am sorry, can we start over?? Children are fairly

adaptable and forgiving.

7. Validate your child's feelings. When she is upset, instead of saying ?You shouldn't feel that way!? you will elicit communication by saying ?I see

you are upset? and ?I'll bet that made you angry!? and then let her vent. Be willing to hear what she says without criticism. When you accept her

feelings, you become her ally and communication is fostered.

8. Expect the best from your child and you will often get it. Children pick up on what we expect of them and become self-fulfilling prophecies.

It is a miracle when a child is conceived, is born, takes a breath, smiles, speaks and walks. When we are conscientious parents, our children unfailingly become wonderful people and that is a miracle!