Mother's Day is meant for celebrating, but if your own mom recently passed away, it can be hard to get in the festive mood. The first Mother's Day after your mom's death can be very difficult, but there are things you can do to cope with your feelings of loss on this special day. We can't promise that next Mother's Day will be easier, but there are ways to make this holiday more positive by honoring her memory each year.



Come together

There are many people who miss your mom and they're probably all thinking about her as Mother's Day approaches. Why not invite your siblings, family members or close friends to lunch and share your favorite stories about her? Your get together doesn't have to be elaborate - talking about her over pizza and soda is perfectly fine. If you're feeling up to it, cook some of her favorite dishes to share with your guests.

You might choose to have your memory celebration the day before Mother's Day. Many female grief survivors participate in Motherless Daughter's Day on the Saturday before Mother's Day. This allows the women to dedicate a day to their mothers' memories and still be available for their own children the next day.

Spending time with loved ones during sad times is an important way of coping with loss. It helps to know that other people are missing your mom as much as you are. Sharing the ways you remember her will help you realize you're not alone in your grief. It can also open up the lines of support and make everyone more comfortable in calling each other or getting together just to chat about her.

Start something

Instead of having a painful yearly reminder of your loss, why not plan something to look forward to? Organize a small outing for your family each Mother's Day to a park for a picnic or even a weekend away. Making a yearly donation to a charity on Mother's Day can help you feel like you're doing something positive.

You could also create a memory box that contains copies of your favorite pictures of your mom, a CD with her favorite song, a bottle of her signature perfume and her favorite book. You can write your favorite memories about her in a book and add it to the collection. Open the box every Mother's Day and reminisce about all the things you love about your mom.

Get it out

Sometimes it can feel like it's easier to ignore Mother's Day and not think about your mom at all. While that can be easier in the short term, suppressing your grief can cause more harm than good. When you address your feelings of sadness, you'll learn to cope with those feelings and not let them control you. Your healing process will be easier and healthier if you're willing to acknowledge your pain.

If you're not up to spending Mother's Day with extended family and friends, don't push yourself, but be sure you take time on your own to remember your mom.

On or around Mother's Day, don't be surprised if you have a few outbursts. Being easily irritable, snapping at others for seemingly no reason and experiencing crying jags are all normal. Talk to those close to you about your reactions so they understand it's your stress over the situation, not them, that's causing you to lose your patience.

Mother's Day can be very difficult if you've recently lost your mom and even if you've been without your mother for years. Finding positive ways to keep her memory alive and close will make the holiday a little easier to manage. Remember to take your time and not rush yourself through your grief. Make your Mother's Day a personal celebration and you'll always have her close to your heart.