Do you have an answering machine? If so what type of answering machine messages do you have? The reason I'm asking you this is that of late, I have been noticing that most people have started personalizing their answering machine messages. Even those who never bothered to do so for years and years. And most of these answering machine messages, if not all of them are rather funny.



I still remember that answering machine message that I heard that went, “Hi! You have reached XYZ. I'm not home right now. If it is mom or dad, please send money. If it is the bill collector, the check is in the mail. If it is the IRS I don't have money and if you owe me money, tell me where you are and I'll get there right away!” There is no doubt that an answering machine message that sounds like that will surely have your sides in splits as well.

There was another answering machine message I heard that went, “You have reached the house of the XYZ's. Obviously we are not in right now, so why don't you call us back at a more easonable time? We promise to take your call if we are in.” To me, this sort of a message sounded almost rude. But when it comes to answering machine messages and a sense of humor, consistency or sameness can hardly be expected.

In recent times, probably because of the want of something better, answering machine messages have achieved a kind of cult status. Most people I know shudder at the thought of creating and storing the right kind of answering machine messages.

This is not because they don't know what to say or how to say it, but purely because everyone seems to be in the quest for the perfect sort of answering machine messages that is funny, memorable and better than the scores of answering machine messages they have already heard.

But answering machine messages don't just stop there. Even those who leave messages on answering machines tend to take humor rather seriously. One unforgettable response to a rather plain answering machine message went as follows. “Hi there! When I called in, I was hoping to find someone interesting to sell this service to. But after hearing your answering machine message, I'm not sure you are the right kind of person I'm looking for. So goodbye. And don't bother calling me even if you have my number on your machine!” Now how does that grab you as a clever retort to answering machine messages.