The most important step in preparing the perfect spam is sanitization. Be sure to scrub all traces of decency and ethical behavior from yourself before attempting this recipe, as any leftover honesty or integrity will result in sub-par spam.
To start, gently fold together the large cup of business ruthlessness and your generous serving of greed. 'Financial Gain' brand greed is best in this recipe, though other brands of greed may be used, such as 'Greed for Power.'
Add your bushel of unnecessary or nonexistent products. There are several tasty version of this recipe, and here's where you can choose which flavor you like best; choose from poor-quality drugs, get rich quick schemes, work from home scams, and male augmentation. All are equally tasty.
Blend carefully.
Once your spam message is well mixed, spoon it into an Anti Spam Filter (ASF) Rewriter. Let cool. Scrape off all grease and nastiness, and set aside-- spammers will want reserve this ingredient for use on a website.
Once spun and blended, scoop your message into a prepared blank email. Then sprinkle email addresses from your packet of innocent victims into email. Send.
Congratulations! You've created the perfect spam. Now after a quick cleaning to wipe up any spilled ingredients (you'll want to wear gloves for this-- it's nasty stuff), you just sit back and wait for your customers to come.
Serving Suggestions:
This recipe makes enough for millions of servings. And while it's important to have a highly useless product, presentation affects this recipe, as well. When presenting your newly-cooked spam, keep in mind your serving options:
Shouting: Want your well-cooked spam to get noticed? Use all caps and plenty of exclamation marks!
Best Buddy: Shouting seem like 'too much' for this batch of spam? Try being the recipient's best buddy instead. 'Saw this and thought of you,' and 'Can you believe what he did?' are nice options. Want to make your dish extra special? Toss in 're:' to make it appear a replied-to message. Creative genius!
Surprise Them: Don't be boring-- surprise all recipients with your specially prepared spam. Find people who didn't sign up for and don't want your products. Great addresses are available online or for purchase.
Fix What's Not Wrong: Worried that recipients don't need some of the great ingredients in your special Spam? Don't! Instead, create a need by implying they have problems they don't have-- then offer them crappy drugs, scammy get rich quick programs, etc., to fix their new problem.
Tips for Recipients:
Had more than your fill of tasty spam and starting to feel a little ill? Here are some tips to help soothe your stomach:
- Check the privacy policies of all companies you submit an email address to.
- Never reply to spam, never click on a link in a spam message, even to unsubscribe. This shows spammers that yours is a valid email, and they will surely hit it again.
- Never give your email address anywhere online. If you have to, spell it out.
- Get a good anti-spam email filter. If your email service providers doesn't offer one (most do) find one elsewhere.
Protect Email From Spam
With the horrific stories of successful scammers making millions from fraudulent activities online, efforts are now in full force to crack down the 419 scammers. An ABC documentary on the subject traced a scam to its origins in Nigeria.
The ABC documentary was just one of many efforts, now getting more concerted, to crack down on the fraudsters perpetuating this activity on a massive scale. The Nigerian police has created the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), a special division specifically to enforce the section of the Nigerian Criminal Code, 419. The code makes it illegal to obtain money by false pretenses. It was not enforced until recently.
The scams happen worldwide. The old, traditional post mail scams have now escalated to million-dollar, worldwide fraud business because of the availability and accessibility of internet facilities. What authorities find out though, is that a lot of these scammers are not part of an organization. While there may be highly organized master scammers, many are small scale schemes looking to make an easy buck.
A lot of the scams have been traced back to parts of Western Africa. Nigeria is a hot spot. The decline in Nigeria's oil-drive economy has left millions desperately poor. But instead of looking for decent jobs, thousands of computer-savvy Nigerians are making a living off of thousands of gullible people from the West, many of whom are Americans.
Spam emails are the most widely used method of fraud. Spammers send varied types of fraudulent emails. It begins with the use of email extraction programs that scour internet websites for email addresses. In some instances, fraudsters obtain a list of email addresses from the black market.
The scammer would usually pose as a widow or heir of a corrupt government official who has left his family with embezzled money stashed away in some hidden account. The widow would ask help to get their money on the funds and in exchange, promise millions of dollars in reward money.
Sometimes, a scammer will pose as a diplomat or a corrupt government official looking to make for a partner-investor in a business. The proposal is usually to ask help to funnel dirty money and “cleanse” it. The money is supposedly stashed somewhere inaccessible. If one helps release the funds that would require advancing a small sum of money, the victim will supposedly receive a million-dollar reward and business deal.
Scammers will sometimes notify a victim of winning a lottery online. The amounts would be anywhere from hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars purportedly held in trust somewhere pending your accomplishment of some paper work. Typically, the victim will be asked to pay a small sum to cover facilitation and processing fees before the money could be released.
Some scammers will identify themselves as a bank officer knowing of a deceased depositor who has died without a next of kin. He would ask the victim to help them get the funds before others do by posing as next of kin and filing a claim. The victim will then be promised a commission, a reward for the help.
More recent forms now involve romance angles and a lot of them now operate in dating sites and online communities. They pose as desperate women wanting to fall in love and scam lonely, gullible men for cash.
Both Jesmond Darmanin & David H. Urmann are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Jesmond Darmanin has sinced written about articles on various topics from Online Security, Management and Business Promotion. Jes Darmanin works at GFI Software: a company that creates professional anti spam software for servers. More information about GFI MailEssentials - The leading server antispa. Jesmond Darmanin's top article generates over 1300 views. Bookmark Jesmond Darmanin to your Favourites.
