Valentine's Day is upon us yet again and there is panic among the men in my office. As unorganised as ever, they're rushing about last minute to get a gift that 'will do'. Don't be fooled - us women know the difference between a present that 'will do' and one that has had some thought. And it it's a 'will do' present, you just know you're going to be paying for a long time.

Luxury hotels are laughing this time of year, with all the last minute bookings from men that can't come up with anything else and do all the arrangements in a lunch break at work on February 13th. Booking a hotel in Italy might sound romantic but make sure you do it in advance, after all, we do check credit card statements!

If studies in the press are anything to go by, a weekend in a luxury hotel in Italy or anywhere else is not necessarily what we want. See, it's not all about the money! Studies revealed that more than being whisked away for the weekend, even a hug and a kiss rated higher than a luxury hotel and for all you lame men, chocolates and flowers are bottom of our wish list. Apparently, the majority of us get less than one hug a day due to our hectic lifestyles.

Of course, for us women, Valentine's Day is the next big event we are concentrating on as soon as Christmas is over and intricate thought and planning has entered into our everyday thoughts to show our partners just how much they are loved. We assess your lifestyles and needs and agonise for hours over getting it just right.

We may well book a luxury hotel for the weekend but you can be sure it will be accompanied by precision planned candlelit baths, a visit to the local lingerie shop for a double treat for you and that we will be plucked and polished to perfection to impress you. You can also be sure that it will be a hotel in Italy, in the very heart of Venice, one of the most romantic places on earth. Are you getting the picture?

It is true that there are romantic men out there but most of us find that romance soon wanes once you've seen us in our PJ's. And just for the record, holding our hair out of the way while we're being sick, sharing belly button fluff or allowing us to pick up your dirty socks is NOT romantic!

Romance between a couple is never an easy thing to get right and, when push comes to shove, it can be the make or break factor. It's not that we want constant wining and dining, a new hotel in Italy, Southern France or Yorkshire every birthday, and we especially don't want bouquets delivered to work - that's not romantic, that's just embarrassing.

All we need is the smaller things to see that you care. The cup of tea you bring us that we don't have to cajole you into making, the volunteered foot massage, occasional breakfast in bed or just, once in a while, see to the baby so we can have a long soak in the bath will all do the job.

Of course, if you're feeling generous, that new dress in Oasis, the designer jeans or sexy, impractical shoes will make us feel loved up and appreciative for a long time.

So, if you want to get it just right, give one day over to planning, in early January. Find a luxury hotel in Italy, in beautiful surroundings - yes, you can do that with the internet - ask them to organise candles etc, inform us of where we are going over breakfast in bed and treat us to the designer jeans. Like I said, it's not about the money but the fact we need to know we are loved.