They always seem to like what you end up giving them, but it can be a struggle, can't it - particularly when they say they need nothing? How would you like a suggestion? In fact, how would you like a suggestion that won't cost you a penny?

If your elderly parents are the sort who have everything, I have the perfect idea for you: Give them your undivided attention! (i.e., Give them your time without interruption, and without attitude.)

Before you start coming up with excuses for why that won't work and how they won't like it, just listen for a minute. How much of your valuable time would you guess you devote to sharing yourself with your aging parents? And, how much of that time do you imagine you focus specifically on that parent - their needs, their issues, their enjoyment - as opposed to what YOU have scheduled to do next . . or whatever it is that's on YOUR mind?

Do you really think your elderly parent doesn't notice how distracted you are when you visit? Do you think it doesn't matter to them?

Sure, they're probably grateful for any time you have to give - particularly if you've made a practice of letting them know how demanding your schedule is and how much this visit is interfering with other - "more important" - matters. (Nothing like laying a guilt trip on an old person!)

The point is: I'm willing to bet that the one thing your parents would love to get from you more than anything else, and the one thing they least expect you to give them, is the gift of yourself . . . the gift of YOUR undivided attention.

Of course! It's probably the scarcest thing on the planet! And the fact that it's so rare makes it even more valuable. Who else has ever gotten it - intentionally? No one?! (Now, I could be way off base here. But if you're as busy as most adult children of aging parents, I'm probably right on target.)

So, what do you say? Come on. You have the the next 365.25 days to parse it out. How tough can it be?! And since I don't want to completely co-opt your gift, I'll let you decide just how large a gift you want it to be.

Just think for a moment of all the ways you can spend time with them. The possibilities for the list are outrageous! Consider:

1. The books you could read - together;

2. The family secrets you could unravel - together;

3. The places you could go - together;

4. The trouble you could get into - together;

5. The legacy you could help them discover - together;

6. The dreams you could dream - together;

7. The letting go you could accomplish - together;

8. The re-connecting you could do - together.

That's just a start. After all, the list is yours - not mine. But, do you see the possibilities?

Now, I don't know what your relationship is with your aging parents. It may be wonderful. It may be downright awful. In either case, I'm going to step way out here on a very thin limb and suggest that you could take a giant leap in making it better with this one gift: The gift of yourself - your time and your undivided attention.

By the way, this will also end up being a gift to yourself with time. One day your parents will be gone. Will you be one of those children who only then realizes how much more you wish you'd done for them while they were here?!

Go for it my friend . . . unless, of course, you have something better in mind.