Though there is no precise formula or recipe for success in online dating, there are some good tips to help the average person (I’ve never actually met anyone who was average) have a better and less risky online dating experience. These are my top ten, top secret tips for online dating success and I’m sharing them with you.



It used to be the case that joining a ‘dating agency’ (heaven forbid) or signing up to an online dating service (which sounds just a little bit better) was not something that one readily admitted to. Even at the start of the internet age, several years ago, telling someone that you met your partner on a dating site might well have elicited a semi-shocked response. Today this situation is quite the reverse. In January there were over 1,240,000 Yahoo searches for the keyword ‘dating’. What that value was for Google and the other search engines combined is hard to say, but it’s likely to be an increase of a factor of 5 or more. So let’s call it 6 million searches per month worldwide for the term dating. That’s 36 million searches a year and we’ve not even considered variations on that search term! I think you can see that online dating is rather popular and most of us probably know someone who has met their life partner online.

Before the cyber age, courtship had rituals and safety measures in place. Has cyber dating altered these conventions or can we rely on the wisdom of our ancestors when tackling the online dating jungle? In my experience (and I pride myself on having a lot) there are some things to avoid when searching for a partner on the Internet, as well as things to aim for that will make your journey less painful and more successful. The following tips are not a guarantee to finding love online, but they will help most people. Try and adapt them to your own circumstances and remember the golden rule of ALL dating – “It’s a numbers game"!

1)Don’t join a paid dating agency until you’ve exhausted the free dating sites out there first - This is a very important point and one neglected by many dating guides I’ve read. Only when you’ve exhausted the functionality of the free sites should you take up a paid subscription.

2)Pay attention to your safety - This is especially relevant to women but these days men should be careful too. Always meet in a well lit and populated public place. Into the evening (, afternoon or morning), don’t drink too much. You’re still getting to know this person and alcohol not only affects your judgement (crucial for that first date), making you more vulnerable.

3)Don’t take anything said to you in an online medium seriously - This rule especially applies to chatrooms, where the concept of anonymity is awkwardly married to that of instant communication. Suffice it to say that instant messages, chatrooms and emails all allow a person to hide who they really are. Take such modes of communication with a pinch of salt.

4)Be honest - Ok, if you have a world record BMI, a shocking skin condition, bad breath, wobbly knees, turret’s and a boil on your forehead, consider making up a whole bunch of stuff. If you’re a normal person with say, one of the above, just be honest and don’t invent a false persona. People do find out in the end and we’re in the business of building long standing friendships and relationships here.

5)Do your research – Once you arrange a date, look the person in question up in the search engines. If you’re lucky you’ll get some verification of the things the person has told you. The more outlandish a claim, the more likely it is to be recorded somewhere on the web.

6)Don’t stick with a profile that has proven not to work - If you’re not getting enough interest from the right type of people it’s not you they are rejecting but your profile. You can’t change you (for the purposes of this discussion) but you can change your profile without lying. Changing pictures, rewording descriptions and emphasising a different part of your personality are likely to bring in more interest.

7)Make sure you use a photograph in your profile - Research suggests that a photograph on a profile will attract up to 5 times more interest than one without. This is the case across the continuum of attractiveness.

8)Don’t use abbreviations or acronyms in your profile - There’s no reason why you can’t show that you have a sense of humour in what you write, rather than putting something like GSOH (Great sense of humour), which is more fitting for a newspaper ad where there’s limited space.

9)Make the effort! - Take extra care to make sure you are well groomed and that your clothes are both comfortable and well fitting.

10)Be yourself – Don’t try a new look and don’t wear tons of jewellery, aftershave or perfume unless this is how you normally adorn yourself. The person you are meeting wants to meet you, not someone whom you might become one day.