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Toy Story Part 2

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In Part 1 of this series of articles, I defined substance and process addictions, and described the four major false beliefs that underlie most addictions:



1. I can't handle my pain.

2. I am unworthy and unlovable.

3. Others are my source of love.

4. I can have control over how others feel about me and treat me.

This article addresses the first of these beliefs, and goes into the process of learning to manage your pain. Learning to manage pain is essential if you are going to move out of addictive behavior, since the intent of most addictive behavior is to avoid pain, coming from the belief that you cannot handle your pain.

Small children have few skills in managing pain. Parents are supposed to be there to help them with painful situations. Loving parents help children with pain by lovingly holding them, acknowledging their pain, hearing their pain, and soothing them in various ways, such ?kissing it and making it better? when there is a cut or scrape, and being in compassion for difficult situations. Compassion toward a hurting child helps the child move through the pain and move on.

However, many adults had parents who, not only did not help them with their pain, but were the cause of the pain. When parents abandon children with physical, emotional, and sexual abuse or neglect, children are on their own regarding handling their pain. They are not receiving help and they have no role model for managing pain. When this is the case, addictions become the way to manage pain. Children learn early to eat, drink or take drugs to manage their pain. They learn early to numb out or act out with destructive or self-destructive behavior to avoid their pain. They may even learn to block out emotional pain by inflicting physical pain on themselves, such as cutting themselves.

In order to move beyond destructive and self-destructive behavior, you need to be in a process of developing a loving inner parent - a loving adult self - capable of giving your hurting inner child what he or she never received as you were growing up. The loving Adult is who we are when we are connected with a powerful spiritual source of love, strength and wisdom.

Your inner child is your feeling self. When you are experiencing the unbearable pain of rejection, loneliness, aloneness and abandonment and the unbearable terror of helplessness, it means that you are that child, with no inner adult to help you handle these terrible feelings. As an alone and terrified child, you will reach for whatever addiction has worked to sooth or block out the pain.

The reason the 12-Step programs have worked so well is because they help people to open to a spiritual source of strength. Without this source of strength, there is no way to manage the pain without the addictions.

We teach a Six-Step process, called Inner Bonding, which works very well along with the 12-Steps to help people in recovery from addictions. (See www.innerbonding.com for a free course). The key to recovery is to create a loving and powerful inner adult self, capable of connecting with a spiritual Source of love and compassion. The loving adult learns to bring to your hurting child all the love and compassion you didn't receive as a child.

Love and compassion are not feelings that are generated from within the body. These feelings are the essence of what God/Higher Power is. God is love, compassion, peace, truth and joy. When you open to learning about what is loving to yourself, with a personal source of spiritual Guidance, you will begin to be able to bring through the love and compassion that you need.

Love and compassion is what you need when you are hurting. Substance and process addictions do not fill the place within that needs love and compassion. Addictions merely block out the pain of the inner abandonment you feel when you are not giving yourself the love and compassion you need. The needed love and compassion is not going to come from another person. No matter how much you wish that someone could give to you what you didn't get as a child, it is not going to happen. You need to learn how to give it to yourself. When you do, you will be well on your way to recovery from your addictions.

Learning how to heal core shame and give yourself the love and compassion you need to recover from your addictions is the focus of the remaining articles in this series.
Toy Story Part 2
The "Carnegie Secret" is a concept that Napoleon Hill studied extensively. Carnegie told Hill that the formula for success was so powerful that if learning how to apply it was taught to students, the time they needed to spend in formal schooling could be cut in half. This formula, Carnegie repeated, was used by all the leading businessmen and inventors of the late 19th and early 20th century.

Carnegie asked Hill to go out and confirm the application of the formula by the 500 richest Americans (and others).

Hill in his introduction to Think and Grow Rich refers to the "formula" as a conception which is the foundation of all success, and necessary to achieve the premise of the book. Hill describes the secret in every chapter but never states it plainly, believing its use is only available to those who possess a 'readiness' for the secret: a disposition Hill states as essential to the concept itself.

Hill spends a great deal of time in Think and Grow Rich discussing the life of inventor Thomas Edison, whose personal belief in the practical electric light is now legend; it is stated in the book that the great inventor personally put his stamp of approval on the formula as being necessary for the attainment of all achievement, including riches. However, personal belief alone is not enough for success, requiring "The Secret" of achievement for that all important next step.

One of the basic premises of the 'Carnegie Secret' or 'Carnegie Formula' is that whatever your mind focuses on will attract like-minded people to you. As one element necessary for Achievement, it can also lead to failure when internal focus is so strong that like-mindedness cannot be achieved; examples are all around us, and Hill pointed them out repeatedly in his writings.

Hill talked at length about the major importance of DESIRE in the lives of successful people to help achieve focus.

Hill's proposition was that if you have a desire that is great enough, literally nothing can stop you from achieving your aim(s) through the power of like-minded attraction; but only as long as this desire does not have selfishness as a component.

He offered six steps to 'fuel' desire so that it will become the 'motivating master' of those who use the formula. Riches are what Hill's teachings promise the reader; these riches can be in the form of money or any other result aimed for, if the person applying the formula uses focus and desire properly to achieve them.

Selfish use of focus and desire, Hill warned, often leads to poverty or far worse.

Thoughts Are Things

Hill spent most of his effort on describing to his readers and students the paradox that "Thoughts Are Things." In fact, the subtitle of the introduction chapter of "Think and Grow Rich" is "The Man Who 'Thought' His Way."

The ability of people to share thoughts underpins achievement, and Hill stated that this allows the success-oriented individuals to attract like-minded people in order to accomplish anything.

Most of the examples in Think and Grow Rich concern the great difficulty of creating and maintaining like-mindedness, and Hill termed this concept "The Master Mind". Hill's numerous examples of racism, prejudice, war, poverty, discouragement, and fear illustrated the significant barriers that existed in his time (and still exist today) as the road-blocks to Achievement through the coordination of like-minded individuals.

The Spirit of Giving

Hill stated many times in his writings that the success formula required a complete and total understanding of the spirit of giving. He named this concept "The Golden Rule". Many times he was quoted as saying "There is no such thing as something for nothing".

Hill was a devout Christian, and did not see any conflict between his success philosophy and his religious faith.

Acquiring the Carnegie Secret of Achievement, Hill said after his own books were in wide circulation, could only be had by those "ready" for it; this meant understanding the entire Philosophy including elements such as the Golden Rule, Faith, and Desire. Once ready, anyone could go on to acquire great wealth as it required only application of the formula.

The Creation of the United States of America

Hill never directly provided a written definition of the secret of Achievement, for he was adamant it would deprive people of the ability to learn it for themselves.

Hill's belief was that the US Constitution was one of the finest living examples of the Philosophy of Achievement in existence, and the same power was available to all; to which there is no doubt just as much disbelief in our times as in Hill's.

And yet the Constitution does exist, making Hill's claim all the more tantalizing that such a power is available to the average person; this claim alone is mainly responsible for the millions of copies of his books in circulation.

There is no hard-copy record of the Carnegie Secret in existence, beyond Carnegie's own stupendous fortune which still exists today as the Carnegie Foundation. Carnegie's wealth was so great in his time that its share of the US Gross National Product was far in excess of today's largest fortunes, rivaling the USA so much that is was once thought Carnegie could become "an Emperor in Washington".

And yet, Carnegie achieved this wealth as an individual, and not completely without controversy; but as a historical fact it is indisputable that one man was responsible.

On this basis, Carnegie's secret formula is considered by some to be a long lost secret, awaiting rediscovery.

The award winning BBC director, Martin Dunkerton, set out to put Hill's famous principles to work, and shows everyone how to do the same in the upcoming Blockbuster, "Millionaire: Awaken Your Secret."

The success secrets can be applied by all.

After I came home from my online business building "bootcamp", I decided I would put these principles to the test.

That is a subject for a future article!
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About Author
Both Margaret Paul, Ph.d. & Kate Loving Shenk are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.

Margaret Paul, Ph.d. has sinced written about articles on various topics from Parenting, Divorce and Infidelity and Cure Anxiety. Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: ht. Margaret Paul, Ph.d.'s top article generates over 90500 views. Bookmark Margaret Paul, Ph.d. to your Favourites.

Kate Loving Shenk has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness, self improvement and motivation and Pixel Advertising. -=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and nurse. Click here to discover how you can be involved in the NEW Napoleon Hill Movie called: Millionaire: Awaken Your Secret. Kate Loving Shenk's top article generates over 90500 views. Bookmark Kate Loving Shenk to your Favourites.
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