Children steal for a variety reasons. Some steal for comfort, others to impress a group of friends, get back at their parents, or to get the things they want. Sometimes they steal just because it is exciting. Probably as many as one in four children have deliberately stolen something at some time. Most, of course, never do it again. But those who do, do so for one reason: it works. Whatever their core need: attention, money, or excitement, the stealing provides it for them.



So how do you stop it? Obviously, if you can help them to find another way to meet their needs, then they won't have to continue with the stealing.

Along with this, your main emphasis needs to be on promoting honesty. Use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, as a starting point for talking about honesty, integrity, and family morals.

Of course it's imperative that you set a good example. Turning in a lost wallet or giving back too much change when you receive it. Doing these things won't be lost on your children.

Keep an eye on your kids, watching for good behavior. Each time they perform an act of honesty, no matter how small, be sure to reward and praise them.

At the same time, you need to model the behavior yourself. Are you conscientious about returning change when you are given too much in a store, what do you do when you find a wallet or money in the street? Your children learn by watching you.

Encourage your child to do the right thing. This means putting it right. Not just paying back what was stolen, but also paying compensation for the inconvenience and disrespect caused by the theft. Ideally, the child should do this himself, probably with your support. Here are some suggestions:

If you happen to catch your child stealing, stay calm. Losing your temper, yelling or screaming will not help, and may even be perceived as an attention reward for them. Secondly, do not allow them to lie to excuse their behavior.

If taken from a stranger, confiscate the goods (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine.

If the goods have already be sold and spent, he may have to sell some of his possessions (perhaps to you) to pay for them and the fine. Make sure what he sells is gone for good.

If taken from a stranger, remove the items (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine or loss of privileges.

Giving him the chance to return the stolen goods to the victim, teaches your child about doing the right thing. If he won't do it then it's up to you to set an even higher penalty. You must stay on message, which is always doing the honest thing. Honesty is the best policy even if it comes after the theft.

Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.

The final point is to let it go once the event is over. Go back to work at rewarding right behavior and quit concentrating on the wrong. What we all should strive for continually promoting honesty. Your child isn't your enemy, the dishonest behavior is.

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Finally, when it's over, let it go. Move on towards rewarding positive behavior, not focusing on the negative, and work hard at reinforcing honesty. It is the stealing that is wrong, not your child.