So we are going to ask the question “why are single Christians increasingly turning to non-Christians to seek relationships?" We are also going to deal with what the consequences are for the Christians themselves and also for the wider Church. Finally we are going to ask what can be done about it from an individual perspective and also what we can do for each other.



If you have been a single Christian for any length of time you will know how hard it is (at times) to find suitable marriage partners. There are a multitude of reasons for this, not least the fact that there are more women than men in the Church (on balance). This is an unhealthy balance that leads to a feminisation of all things Christian when looked at from a male point of view.

Many men consider Christianity to not be the most masculine of religions and the Church has its fair share of men dressed in long robes and not enough masculine role models. This does not encourage them to come through the doors in the first place. Men are attracted to physicality which is why martial arts are so popular. Make Church life for Christian men more masculine and active and you will attract more men into the Church.

So with not enough men coming into the Church and also the more masculine men being put off the Church the choice for your average single Christian woman is narrowed considerably. So what is she to do? Prayer is a good start but without action it is faith “without works" and faith “without works" doesn’t work! So what next? This is where the natural tendency is to get discouraged and start looking outside the Church. This is the chief reason why single Christians are going out into the non-Christian world looking for relationships. The result is that they are getting pregnant and marrying un-suitable people who don’t share their faith or values. Long-term this is the cause of many people leaving the Church.

So what can be done about this? In my current role I am constantly asked about how to meet new single Christians. My first response is usually to recommend that they start where they are in their Church and try to get to know everyone they don’t yet know. After this there is the wider body of local Churches which may be visited from time to time. Start to network with other people from these Churches who are in the same situation. Organise events, ring each other up and encourage one another.

Finally, the Internet has enabled many to meet suitable people who they would not have met otherwise. Don’t dismiss it. With faith and persistence it really can work. Don’t give up too easily. Many people expect instant results with the Internet and this is un-realistic. Take your time and get friends to support your activities prayerfully.