Assertiveness is a skill we can acquire over time and a capacity that should be maintained. We should also avoid assuming extreme attitudes in one sense or the other. The capacity of being assertive in fact varies between two extremes, the first being that of total passivity, the incapacity to assume a particular stance in the presence of others and difficulty in relating to them, and the second being that of an excessive self-confidence, which may eventually turn into an aggressive attitude, whereby one would tend to prevaricate and impose one's will upon other people and pay no attention at all to their needs. Neither of these extremes can be considered as adequate and, once again, the middle path is best.
Assertive types know very well that anyone can make a mistake or change their mind. They are thus sincere and honest with themselves and with others, admitting any errors they may have committed and confessing any change in their opinions, without experiencing feelings of excessive inadequacy or incompetence as a result of their action.
Being assertive means that you need to respect yourself. The ability to have healthy and mutually respected relationships with other people is based on how you see and feel about yourself, for one's individuality and one's uniqueness. Our relationships with other people are difficult, not clearly defined, and they can also be a source of some anxiety. This is basically due to the result of misunderstandings caused by an inability to relate to others in an open and honest manner.
When assertive individuals express their opinions or let others know what their tastes, choices and values are, they do not feel obliged to also provide a justification for this choice or preferences. On entering into a discussion with someone, in an assertive manner you should have no fear of measuring oneself with anyone else in relation to the various topics discussed. If someone says something that is not clear or makes excessive or unreasonable demands, you should seek clarification. Don't be afraid to admit you have not understood what a person has said or that you need further explanation.
When assertive people disagree with someone, they are capable of expressing their point of view, while maintaining a respectful tone in whatever they say. Assertive types also do not let others step all over them or exploit them in any way. They will make sure other people respect them, and are not afraid of offending a person who has challenged them first. They are also not stalled by feelings of guilt. Assertive people can share with others what they are feeling, without any sense of shame or fear of being misunderstood or judged. When an assertive person says something they believe is important and are simply ignored, they are able to reiterate their ideas until they are given the attention, they feel, they deserved.
Being assertive does not mean that one is an egotist. Egotistic people do not consider other people's needs and are exclusively concerned about their own demands and expectations, while the assertive individual comprehends the needs of others and takes them into consideration.
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Everyone's busy. Today many of us feel added pressure with fax machines, cell phones, kids and co-workers. The average worker fields 52 phone calls, 36 emails and 23 voice mails a day. And, the holidays and the stress that sometimes comes with it are fast approaching. Here are 10 quick and easy tips for managing stress. Please feel free to share them with your friends and colleagues.
1) Focus on your strengths not on your weaknesses. Perfectionists take note: the average American is 32 years old, married, laughs 15 times a day, and has 27 trillion fat cells. Nobody's perfect. Beat stress by going easy on yourself. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Don't obsess over your weaknesses because perfectionism often leads to procrastination.
2) Get up in the morning 30 minutes earlier.Start your day with solitude and more clarity by rising a half hour earlier than those in your household. Spend quiet time journaling, praying or meditating. Just begin by writing your thoughts, dreams, goals and fears. Start thinking about how to organize your day.
3) Break the worry habit. 95% of what you worry about never happens. Ask yourself, "Even if the worst happened, what could I learn from this experience?" Have a plan B just in case.
4) Spend time outdoors and out in nature. Especially in fall and winter when the days get shorter, it's important to spend time outdoors every day in the natural daylight. Even if it's gray and overcast, research shows that time spent in daylight, especially in the morning, helps reduce Seasonal Affect Disorder or "SAD." Where I live in the Pacific Northwest, I can actually notice a positive shift in my mood and that of others when late spring arrives and it's light until 8:45 p.m.
5) Remember the formula E + R = 0. Event + (your) Reaction = Outcome. You can't always controls the events or outside circumstances around you, but you CAN control how you react. This isn't a new concept, but sometimes we need to be reminded of it. Most of us spend more time worrying about the things outside of our control. I conducted a speaking engagement recently in Seattle on "Dealing with Difficult People." I reminded everyone of the importance that their response plays in determining their outcomes.
6) Laughter is a serious business! Laugh to reduce stress. It's a well-known fact that laughter helps reduce stress and build the immune system. Laughter IS the best medicine. It gets those endorphins or "feel-good" hormones into the brain and elevates your mood.
7) Don't overreact when dealing with difficult people - especially antagonists. Antagonists, otherwise known as "pot stirrers," often have a desire for dissention. They're looking to purposely rattle your cage, ruffle your feathers, and get you to say something you'll regret. As Zig Ziglar once said, "No one can get your goat if they don't know where it's tied up."
8) Reward yourself for a job well done. Indulge in a massage, manicure or pedicure. Recently I had the glorious pleasure of staying at the Phoenician hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. Splurging on an hour-plus massage worked wonders! Not to mention laying out by the pool enjoying the beautiful desert scenery of Camelback Mountain, and later, Sedona.
9) Check your adult at the door. Act like a kid again! Play, run, engage in a favorite sport or hobby like golf, tennis, or hanging out with your children at the park. Make sure to have a date night with your spouse or significant other. Take a day off and play at the beach doing something you haven't done in years like playing Frisbee or building sand castles.
10) Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. List 10 things you're grateful to have in your life. Revisit and appreciate the simplest of pleasures. Sip your favorite cup of gourmet coffee. Sit outside in the springtime in the garden of a friend's house. Enjoy sunset on the coast. Appreciate the feeling of being more energized after a workout. Be grateful for your health.
Decide today to make a commitment to do one activity that will reduce stress and maximize success. Do it now. What you do in the present determines your future. Enjoy!
Both Luca Govoni000 Luca Govoni000 & Colleen Kettenhofen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Luca Govoni000 Luca Govoni000 has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness. Luca Govoni is author of this article on Psychology portal about anxiety and stress. Find more information about. Luca Govoni000 Luca Govoni000's top article generates over 480 views. Bookmark Luca Govoni000 Luca Govoni000 to your Favourites.
Colleen Kettenhofen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Fitness, Difficult people and Leadership. Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert and co-author of The Masters of Success, as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield.For more free articles and e-newsletter, visit. Colleen Kettenhofen's top article generates over 90500 views. Bookmark Colleen Kettenhofen to your Favourites.
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