Oftentimes couples go through what seems like an eternal rough patch while being oblivious to the signs that their goog relationship is sliding toward a bad relationship. I
It isn't uncommon for people to hang on to what seems like a dysfunctional relationship with no future just because they had a great past. In fact this is quite a common phenomenon because we usually don't notice the negative qualities of an individual during the initial "romantic stage" of a relationship.
If you are going through a hard time in your relationship but don't know whether you should call it quits or not, here are the top ten telltale signs to let you know that you should:
1. You seem to be always frustrated about your relationship. For instance, you feel your emotional needs are never being met.
2. You find yourself looking for excuses to avoid spending time together
3. You are being abused physically.
4. You are being abused emotionally.
5. The intensity and vibrancy of emotions that were present in the beginning are now gone. Now you only have memories about how good it once was.
6. You've compromised and sacrificed your beliefs, ambitions and core values in order to adjust to your partner's needs, with the hope of eliminating the problems of your relationship.
7. You've completely and radically changed your appearance hoping that your partner will find you more attractive.
8. You feel like an empty shell of your former self and have lost all of your self belief.
9. You've distanced yourself or totally disconnected from former close friends and/ or family members to accommodate your partner in your life.
10. You feel like your partner doesn't appreciate anything you do or have achieved in life and is trying to undermine you every step of the way.
When you observe these signs, a warning bell should go off and alert you to reevaluate the direction of your relationship. Perhaps the most practical way of doing this would be to make a list with two columns. Use one column to list the positive traits of your relationship and jot down the negative attributes of your relationship in the other. Take the time to come up with a concrete list in both columns. Once you are done with the list, see which column is longer in order to ascertain whether the odds are stacked against the survival of your relationship or there's hope for you and your partner yet. Doing so allows you to look at the whole situation objectively thereby making it less hard for you to put an end to the relationship.
In conclusion, be aware that the purpose of a relationship is to bring happiness, not be a constant source of turmoil and pain. So, if you see all of the signs discussed in this article, it's best to quit while you're ahead.
Abusive Relationships Warning Signs
Dysfunctional relationships are relationships that create more emotional turmoil than satisfaction. Relationships are part of the human experience. But what happens if one or both partners have never been involved in a happy relationship, or had one modeled for them as a child? Chances are they will participate in a dysfunctional relationship.
A dysfunctional or an about-to-be dysfunctional relationship always has warning signs. These must be identified and confronted in a timely fashion to prevent complete disintegration of he relationship. Here is a list of some warning signs of dysfunctional relationships:
1. Addictive/obsessive attitude: When one of the partners develops addictive or obsessive attitude and all the time seems overly focused on themselves or the other, it is time to reevaluate your relationship because this is the beginning of dysfunctional. You 'lose yourself' in the chaos.
2. Imbalance of power: You always feel that you are working much harder than your partner at making the relationship work. When your partner seems to make no effort at that, your relationship is probably going dysfunctional. Relationships are supposed to be a 50/50 partnership. If it has evolved into a 90/10 split with you doing all the giving and very little return, or vice versa a bad relationship scenario is developing.
3. Tensions show up regularly: Little things that cause tension are always present. These may related to money, friends, love, work or anything else, but they seem to take on disproportional importance.
4. Feeling cornered: In such relationships, either of the partners can get a feeling of being cornered or trapped into a situation that s/he would not like to have got into in the first place. If this feeling of being trapped and hapless keeps recurring, and is not a one-off incident, then it shows there's something wrong in the relationship.
5. Inferiority/superiority complex: If any one of the partners in a relationship begins developing an inferiority/superiority complex, then there is something that's going wrong. Relationships are based on equality and trust no partner should consider himself superior or inferior in comparison to the other.
6. The feeling of frustration: Every relationship has little frustrations, but when they persist and just keep cropping up as soon as one is dealt with, something is certainly wrong.
7. Constant unhappiness: Are you happy? If not, what happened? This is a fundamental question that needs to be answered. If you are constantly unhappy or mentally bogged down, because there is a nagging doubt or a feeling that something is not going right, it is time to evaluate the situation. This can happen when you just cannot reconcile your desires, your feelings and your needs with your partner's and neither can he, with yours.
8. Being unsure and insecure: You are so unsure of yourself that you hesitate to do things, thinking about what if it would end up causing a rift in your relationship. In other words, when you go from being spontaneous to overcautious about doing things you like to do. Being unsure brings with it a feeling of insecurity and that is another sign to watch out for.
9. Emotional blocks: Fear, jealousy, obsession, non-involvement, manipulation, distrust, suspicion, disrespect and an uncaring attitude are the usual suspects. If there is continuity in any of these behavioral traits, then your relationship is on its way to being past history.
These are some warning signs of a dysfunctional relationship. If you happen to notice any of these, take preventive measures immediately and address the situation. And remember, band-aid measures won't work, look for long-term solutions.
Perhaps the most commonly used and least effective solution to problems in relationships is to ignore them and hope they go away. Here is wishing you all the best in your relationship.
Bill Urell has sinced written about articles on various topics from Web Development, Health and Online College. Bad relationships happen. Are your life relationships not going well? There is some great information and help on healing those bad relationships and dysfunc. Bill Urell's top article generates over 74000 views. Bookmark Bill Urell to your Favourites.
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