Do you look at your friends when they are out with their lovers and think to yourself - when will I get such a chance? It has been found that most of the times, it is not the circumstances but single people themselves who are the biggest obstacle when it comes to taking the plunge because they are scared of being hurt.

They make excuses that keep them at bay. The reasons they use range from - "I don't know what I want' to 'I am not actively looking for love" are used by them. If you are still looking for your beloved, read on to see what might be standing in your way and what you need to do...

There is no one around

Simply sitting around and complaining that there is no one available is not going to work in the long run. Looking for a good partner is like looking for your dream job. You have to sift through advertisements to find the right one, then go through interviews and after that there is the possibility of getting rejected. Finding a partner is comparatively simpler. Start your search by drawing up a list of activities where you can meet people, like a gym or a dance class. The possibilities are endless.

Encourage yourself to go out there and don't feel scared to make new friends. When you find someone go ahead and talk to them. Don't feel shy and after a couple of meetings ask them out for coffee. Things will start getting easy only when you overcome your shyness.

If both of you hit it off well and are serious about a relationship make sure you talk about this in detail. Get to know what your partner expects from the relationship. It is important for both of you to have the same expectations because you may be interested in getting married while your beloved might be just looking for a fling. It is better to make things clear at an early stage rather than regret later on. See what their opinion is and if they are not similar to yours then move on. There is no point wasting time on a person who does not want the same things as you from the relationship.

Once bitten, twice shy

Often, what stops a single person from going ahead is a negative mind set, that plays a major role when it comes to accepting a relationship. While positive thoughts help us to achieve our goals, negative thoughts restrain us from reaching them.

If you want to be successful at love you have to change your mindset. Never think that you will not be successful in a relationship. Thoughts like 'I do well at work, I have great friends and family but love just stays away' can actually hamper a new relation. Just because you have failed at one relationship does not mean that you will not be successful at other ones. When you get scared, just close your eyes and tell yourself that you can go ahead with a relationship. Don't let any doubts get in the way.

Talk to your partner about what you fear from your past relationships. This will clear a lot of things between the two of you. In fact if the person truly loves you they will not do things that hurt you. This way you will be able to make out whether you are in a loving and true relationship. It will make it easier for you to go ahead with marriage plans, if you have any at a later stage.

Remember that it might seem tough to find a partner but if you look out for one you will find your beloved.