Do you let yourself off the hook? Are you really good at coming up with excuses and reasons for not taking action in your life? Do you notice how your mind will give a bunch of reasons why you should not do something? Its say things to you like "it is not a good time right now", "I don't have everything I need to", "I don't feel ready yet". Are any of these excuses true or would they make a difference anyway? Some of them may even be true but you won't know the answer unless you actually take actions and find out. See your mind convinces you these are valid reasons but are they really?



Your confidence level is directly impacted by how wimpy you are with yourself. Letting yourself off the hook drains your confidence because when you let your fears stop you and run your life you feel powerless. You start focusing only on what will not work which produces more procrastination and inactivity.

One element of this pattern is realizing you are living in the future. When you want to do something and your mind starts coming up with excuses usually it is predicting what may happen. Most of us are not fortune tellers and we do not know what will happen in the future. Trying to live your life predicting the future prevents you from living in the now. You miss great opportunities because you see things that come your way as dangerous and scary and let them go.

Wondering why you do this, because there is a payoff for not taking action. Any guess what the payoff may be? You do not have to take responsibility for your life. Yes this may be confronting but I have seen this happen repeatedly in my own life and with my clients. Instead of dealing with some failures and not always getting what you want you can play it safe by not trying at all. It is less scary worrying about failing and what could go wrong then actually experiencing it. You mind has you believe it is too dangerous to try.

Another component of this pattern is you do not have to deal with change and something new which many people have fears around. However, what most of you forget is that you do not want to be where you are emotionally, physically, or spiritually. But you keep doing the same thing to try and change but you keep getting you the same results. Please understand I am not trying to be hard on you, if anything I am saying this because I care and I want you to stop suffering.

What I help countless women do is out talk their mind. Your mind has a PhD in making up excuses but recognize following them does not get you closer to what you want. It temporarily gets you off the hook but ultimately it leads you feeling less confident in yourself. Try having a no excuses approach with yourself. I know this may be scary or seem like too much work but it is a lot easier than you think.

When you are wimpy with yourself it is very hard to break the low energy cycle of being inactive and fearful. Doing the things you want become difficult because your thoughts and feelings about yourself and what you are capable of doing become negative and limiting. When you consistently out talk your fears you stay in a higher energy level which makes taking actions much easier. Also your lows are not as low or last as long as they did before you started taking your no excuses approach. This makes experience of doing this much easier and more enjoyable.

Fears and excuses will always come up when you are taking action especially if it is something new. But what I am suggesting to you is to out talk them and over power your mind. Here's what I do: when I catch my mind trying to talk me out of doing something I stop the excuses and say "I am doing it". "The worst that can happen is it doesn't work out but at least I tried." In addition, I always plan action steps for myself to take daily, weekly, and monthly, usually stuff that I have a little fear around. The benefits are unlimited, I feel energized, more confident, and I grow as a result of being unreasonable with myself.

How to you remedy this problem it to take on a no excuses approach. Stop letting yourself off the hook. There will always be fears and excuses your mind will come up with but it is in your control to not let them get in your way. Remind yourself that the worst case scenario is that is doesn't work out. Regardless, you will still learn and grow as a result of trying. You will also feel more confident in yourself. Either way it is a win win situation. Also remind yourself that no matter you are up for you can handle it. Practice taking daily, weekly, and monthly action steps. Do things that scare and intimidate you a little. I promise you it will only boost your self-confidence no matter the outcome.

Copyright (c) 2007 Melisa Milonas LLC