Written By - Steve Lamb, Behaviour Support Services



A Slippery Slope:

Shock, telling off, shouting at, sanctions, smacking, time out / detention, restraint, confrontation, torture, prison.

People, including children become "hardened" to punishment. That isn't to say that punishments don't have a place and a purpose in society, including those used with children. And yes smacking children does work as a short term, reactive strategy. What it doesn't do is address the problem or provide a long term solution, it is also likely to potentially lead to further problems with behaviour if misused and is very open to abuse.

The more the punishment is used, the less effective it becomes, as the person gradually builds up a tolerance to it. The next punishment therefore, will need to be more intense for it to have any effect.

Over time then, the behaviour gets more severe and frequent, because the person comes to realise that they have experienced this response before. They coped with it then and it was "no big deal" (e.g. the deterrent is not as powerful as the motivation of or need for the behaviour). Therefore they assume it will be the same again, ("So what you gonna to do 'bout it then?").

As the person becomes older, stronger, bigger and more astute they are more likely to want to gain recompense by using the behaviour then to "strike back", maybe including verbal & physical aggression.

We've all seen the scenario at the supermarket checkout queue:

Child: (Walking off)I want some sweets.

Mum: (Already Loud)"Get over ere!"

Child: Ignores.

Mum: (Louder)"Get ere now!"

Child:Ignores & smirks.

Mum: (Attempting to be a bit calmer)"Get over ere now this is your, last chance!"

Child: (Knowing what's coming)"I'm looking at these" as edging further away.

Mum: (Through gritted teeth)"Get here now before I crack ya one"

Child: (Knowing he'll get crack either way) "I want these"

Mum: (Losing it!) "You're having nothing, NOW GET OVER HERE"

Child: (Shouting)"I want them!"

Mum: (Yelling) "B****Y WELL GET HERE NOW!!"

Child:"**** off"

Mum: (Forfeiting place in queue, advances"DON'T YOU DARE SHOW ME UP IN PUBLIC"

and WHACK!)

Child: (Crying but winning!)"That hurt you silly cow"

Mum: (Returning to queue with firm grip "Just put the soddin' sweets in the basket & stay over 'ere……

on child's arm) & you're havin' nothin' else!!)

Child: (With slight smile through the tears)"Sorry mum".

Mum: (To onlooker)"Kid's eh… .I don't believe he's the way he is with me!"

This may be the only way that they have learned to achieve the function of whatever the behaviour was about in the first place and so to reach that goal they have to go through this cycle. (e.g. mum doesn't like me having sweets, can't afford sweets etc. & I know the only way on earth I am going to get the sweets is to go through this cycle). It follows then that the punishments become more severe and frequent and so on. Punishments therefore can lead potentially to abuse (e.g. as the smacking has to become harder to have the same desired effect).

What could mum have been done better with above incident? Probably nothing on this specific occasion, at least not without some 'cost'. The incident is the outcome of years of inadvertent training

and conditioning, leading to their current relationship. With a different relationship, mum might have had more options. A stranger or someone less familiar with the same child, would probably not have had the same problem, at least not initially. As soon as the child realises that this person is starting to respond the same way as mum the behaviour will probably quickly accelerate and end up the same. This might offer some explanation of the "honeymoon period" theory, that being whereas in a new setting or with a new person, the child's behaviour is much improved for a temporary period of time.

The parent that shouts and yells for every little thing, is going to find themselves yelling more and more and louder and louder, probably through and beyond their child's adolescence. As they get louder they will wonder why their child's behaviour seems to be getting worse. In actual fact it is quite likely if they made a point of not shouting and reshaping the relationship, that when they did need to shout it would be more likely to impact on the behaviour of the child.

Aversive responses therefore only have a real beneficial purpose when they are "out of the norm" and unexpected. As a final thought consider the following group punishment and the differing effects it might potentially have on the 'naughty' children and the 'good' children:

Whilst putting the whole class in a group detention might seem like an easy solution and make the teacher feel somewhat better at the end of a 'day from hell', it is possibly, in the longer term, going to inadvertently create even more days from hell. Putting a whole class group in detention will have a devastating effect on those pupils who probably didn't do anything wrong, because they are the ones that are probably normally well behaved and not used to being punished. The main culprits in that group should be the targets of the 'punishment' but probably are the least effected by the detention because they are already well accustomed to and tolerant of being punished! In the meantime, it just means that; the well-behaved children have begun their tolerance of 'punishment training' and may even now have some motivation and temptation to join the original culprits in getting some recompense. "If you're going to do the time you may as well do the crime".

Further Reading

http://www.behavioursupport.org.uk.html