Going to the dentist is probably one of the most hated experiences by most people. And the worst part about going to a dentist is that you start going at a very young age, pretty much as soon as you get your first teeth. There's no point in your life, really, where you can remember not being tortured by that man with the sharp instrument, poking it into your mouth and ripping your teeth apart with it. Okay, it's not quite that bad, but it's certainly not a pleasant experience. The truth is, very little about a dentist visit is pleasant.



For starters, there's that stupid sheet that he wraps around our neck. If he made it any tighter he'd probably cut off our air supply. Sure, he does this so we don't drool all over ourselves, but the least he can do it loosen it just a little. It's not bad enough that the dentist chair itself with that neck brace is so uncomfortable. Talk about leaving the dentist's office with a stiff neck.

Then comes the x-rays. Now let's face it, this can't be the safest thing in the world. I mean he puts this lead covering over our chest and then leaves the room when he puts on the x-ray machine. And that's not even the uncomfortable part. The worst part of the x-rays is when he takes the film, which is twice the size of our mouth to begin with and he then attempts to jam it into one corner of our mouth while attached to these metal tongs that are heavier than a box of screwdrivers. And we're supposed to hold that thing in our mouth without holding it with our hands? Is he on drugs? And then, we have to go through about 4 of these things, 8 when he has to do a full set every 4 or 6 years.

Then after the x-rays, he sticks that thing in our mouth that sucks up the saliva. Feels like we're having our insides sucked out of us. And then, if that's not bad enough, while he's got that thing in our mouth and digging at our teeth with the metal hook, he begins to ask us things like, "So, have you done any fishing lately?" What does he possibly expect to get out of us when we've got all that garbage in our mouth? But like idiots we try to answer him and end up drooling down our chin. The little bib doesn't help very much.

Then after he's done digging at our teeth for a while and we rinse all this blood out of our mouth, (that can't be good) the next thing he does is brush our teeth with this stuff that could take the chrome off a car bumper. The goal is to clean our teeth, not remove them completely.

And then, after it's all over, he hands us this bill for $118. All he did was take a few x-rays, pick at our teeth and brush them and we get hit with a bill that's 5 times what it would cost us to get an oil change for our car.

And dentists wonder why we hate going there.