It also gives them a recognition that they have emotional responses to your disease, too, along with guidance for handling these emotions. Offering to let family members give you a shot or do a blood-sugar test gives them practice in case you really need their assistance at a future time. It also indicates that you trust them enough to allow them to do these procedures. Some people may have real fears about giving an injection. Encourage them to recognize that insulin is a lifesaving medicine. Indirectly, oral agents are lifesaving also. If someone is still unable to participate in your care, recognize that you may feel some sense of rejection. Try to assess the situation from the other person's standpoint. On the other hand, if you refuse to let a family member or friend give you a shot or do a blood test, do so with some explanation of your fears. If this is not done, the other person may experience a sense of being rejected. Your family members and friends need to feel that they are accepted and/or that they are a part of your care. Family meetings can be most helpful. This is a specified weekly period of time (usually from 30 to 45 minutes) when family members can meet to exchange ideas, discuss feelings, and work on plans. If children are involved, they should be encouraged to take leadership roles. The meetings also help siblings to understand one another (which is especially helpful if it is a child who has diabetes) and to understand themselves. Sibling rivalry is increased if a sibling doesn't know why the child with diabetes is receiving so much attention. Try to be as realistically independent as you can about the care of your disease. As soon as you are able to do so, give yourself the majority of your injections, and do most of your blood-glucose tests. Learn your meal plan so that you can make appropriate choices from the food that is served (education helps the family to cook more nutritious food, if you are not involved in the grocery shopping and cooking). If you are visiting friends and are offered a food you should not have, you can simply say, "It's not something I am able to eat," or "My doctor hasn't included that on my meal plan," or, with humor, "My doctor would slap my hands if I even aimed a fork in that direction." Humor is most helpful in your adjustment and in the adjustment of family or friends. When you are able to joke about yourself, others will feel more comfortable in your presence. If you were to walk into a house and state solemnly, "I have diabetes," chances are that your hosts would be walking on eggshells. Your attitude plays a large part in the attitude of others toward you and toward your diabetes. A joking comment in the right place at the right time can make everyone feel more at ease. GrievingYou, your family, and your close friends will all experience some grief at the time you are first diagnosed or when any complication is diagnosed. Grieving is a normal part of any feeling of loss. Just as it is for you, it is normal for your family and friends to grieve. Just as you might experience disbelief and denial, so might they. When the reality hits that your diagnosis means a change in schedules and meals and makes it necessary to learn new information, family and friends may respond by not saying anything or by nagging you, by walking away from you, or by keeping too close. Education and counseling will be useful to them, as perhaps you found such support helpful. They don't need to say anything; they just need to listen.