Joy Selak knows what it is like to live with an ?invisible? chronic illness. She went from hating it, to embracing it, to using it as a platform to help others. She teamed up with her doctor, Seattle rheumatologist Steven Overman, M.D., to write a wonderfully helpful book, ?You Don't Look Sick!: Living Well with Chronic Illness.? Our dear host of HealthTalk Live, Judy Foreman, also interviewed them on the HealthTalk site. And I had a fascinating hour with them this past weekend as they joined me on my Patient Power radio show. The following is Joy's story:
She was an investment broker at a major Smith Barney office, and her husband was the manager. Joy's symptoms of fatigue and pain kept getting worse. Sometimes she had to be hospitalized. And people were worried she'd make a mistake that could be costly. Joy was worried too. At that time, she was her job. That was her identity. When her husband (also her boss) suggested it was time to tend to her health full-time, she went home and cried. She went from doctor to doctor and finally got the right diagnoses: interstitial cystitis and mixed connective tissue disease. She then began to work her way from depression to self-awareness to living pretty well.
Although we talk a lot about chronic illness on HealthTalk and on my radio shows, medical ?news? tends to focus on acute illnesses and so-called ?breakthroughs.? Yet most people have chronic health concerns - the ones that usually can't be cured and we have to learn to live with. It's not the kind of stuff featured on the medical drama television shows.
That's why Joy and Steven's book stands out. It's not about a specific disease or how to be cured in 30 days. It's about a way of thinking no matter what the chronic concern is. It's an acknowledgement of the stages one goes through and how to move efficiently to the most positive one ? even when people around you can't relate to your condition or, perhaps behind your back, whisper that you did something to bring it on (stress, your divorce, etc.)
I urge you to take a look. For people who are ?stuck? in the pain of diagnosis and trying ever harder to cope, but (like the car stuck in the mud) are only sinking deeper, this is a real find.
One of Joy's tips is to give the world your gifts, even if you have been/are sick. Joy's gift is writing (http://www.joywrites.com/), and we thank her and Dr. Overman for the present!
Dont Look Like Me
I can say that we all wish to look good because we feel that is an asset. We have inherited this idea of beauty from our ancestors. Everything must be in proportion was the motto of the earlier human society. This has stunted growth of many promising careers. Those who do not look stunning feel inferior. But that should not happen because not everybody gives importance to looks. Some of us do that, but not all of us. Anyway are you keen to befriend a person who ignores intelligence and is concerned only about looks? I do not think you would do that.
For most of us, it is the personality that attracts. The best looking person who looks awkward while walking will not attract any positive attention. Personality has many ingredients. The way you walk, the style in which you sit. Your talking style matters quite a lot. If somebody has a loud voice, no romance can happen. Use of tone is very important. It is true with choice of words. Those who picture with words are powerful creators. They can attract attention of any person. Look at your personality before deciding that you are not good dating material and don't deserve the best.
Attraction cannot be defined. There is no scientific formula. Attraction comprises of many qualities. Some of them are perceived only by your subconscious mind. Pay attention to the personality and develop an irresistible personality to win the dating game. Even if you do not look a stunner, if you have a good personality you will always win the game.
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