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Emotional Intelligence In Children

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Joe's Story



Joe (not his real name) works as the Director of Engineering for a company that invents methods to improve refining processes and oil extraction. They then lease the patents on those methods to oil companies. Recently, Joe was able to put his EI skills into practice and help his company's bottom line.

While on his way to meet with a customer in South America to renew a $15 million contract, Joe learned that the customer wanted to reduce the contract fees to $12 million. On the flight down, Joe was feeling anxious and worried about the meeting. After all, $2 million in revenue and an important customer relationship were on the line.

Recognizing his anxiety, Joe applied a few simple EI techniques he'd been taught to transform those feelings into more positive, productive thoughts and emotions. As a result, he came up with several positive options he could present during the meeting.

Although the meeting went quite well, one individual hampered the negotiation process, picking over the details and questioning every point.

Again drawing on his EI training, Joe avoided becoming defensive and expressing frustration, handling his own emotional reactions to the man's objections well. He ended up convincing the oil company to agree to additional services and process improvements and to sign a contract several million dollars over the original contract.

Emotional Intelligence is not about being soft. It's about a different way of being smart. It's about managing yourself and using your emotions to positively lead others; to engage not just their head and hands, but also their hearts.

Putting EI Into Action

You feel the effects of emotional turmoil daily. What can you do? You can take action to develop your own emotional intelligence.

Start by increasing your emotional self-awareness and asking yourself, "What am I feeling right now?" several times a day?" Notice that the question is not "how" but "what" because we tend to answer the question "How am I feeling?" with the word "Fine" which tells us nothing.

When you figure out what you're feeling (such as anxiety, happiness, anger, excitement) you can use that information to help you decide what you should do or not do next. Simply put, with this information, you can more effectively make decisions.

Second, begin to disclose and discuss your feelings. If you're feeling concerned or anxious about an issue, recognize those feelings by disclosing them and sharing them. Typically, when anxious, people will find fault or find some point to object to: "Those numbers can't be right."

Instead, the more emotionally intelligent thing to say is, "I have to tell you, I'm feeling a bit anxious about this decision." This not only helps your team by giving them more information about you and your point-of-view, it provides a more complete view of your perspective. Discussing feelings improves communication and sets the tone for cooperation.

Third, get some EI skill training. EI skill development works best in the form of classroom sessions combined with one-on-one coaching. Be sure the training is skill-based, that is, provides not only information about EI but also the chance to practice skills on real situations. And, be sure that the provider has documented quantified results. Business decisions are based on measured results and decisions on selecting training should be based on the same criteria.

Source:

1. Daniel Goleman, "What Makes A Leader?" HBR, 1998.
Emotional Intelligence In Children
Not long ago, I was invited to facilitate a professional development network (PDN) session of the Chicago Organizational Development Network. The group, comprised of seasoned consultants from large organizations, gathers with the purpose of sharing information and learning from one another. As is my practice, I designed a highly interactive program. The objective was to identify how significant the development of Emotional Intelligence (EI) skills can be for the workplace.

After defining Emotional Intelligence and providing some examples of the results obtained from our applied EI skill-building programs, I asked the group to divide into three smaller groups and note on flipcharts what issues or problems could be improved within their organizations by increasing EI skills. The groups spent about 10 minutes identifying and discussing the issues or problems, then reported on their lists. The composite, alphabetized list below details the 45 issues identified by the group.

- Absenteeism

- Call reluctance

- Change management

- Coaching

- Communication

- Conflict management

- Creativity

- Culture change

- Customer satisfaction

- Decision-making

- Developing leaders

- Efficiency

- Emergencies

- Employee engagement

- Employee satisfaction

- Expectation setting

- Goal attainment

- Goal setting

- Grievances

- Group interaction

- Health care costs

- Lawsuits

- Leadership

- Lost time accidents

- Mergers

- Non-union status

- Patient safety

- Performance management

- "Politics"

- Problem solving

- Process improvement

- Productivity

- Project management

- Quality

- Retention

- Sales/revenue

- "Silo" mentality

- Stress

- Succession planning

- Supplier relations

- Teamwork

- Thought clarity

- Trust/loyalty

- Work/life balance

- Workplace violence

It's quite eye opening to see this expansive list which is, most likely, not all-inclusive. I can't think of any other organizational improvement intervention that has the potential to positively impact so may organizational problems concurrently. Development of Emotional Intelligence skills does not just improve leadership competencies or management skills. It has a far-reaching effect. Our clients have experienced dramatic improvements. Program participants have reported improvements that range from 20% to 40% reduction in stress and worry, 20% to 35% increase in personal productivity, 15% to 35% increased teamwork and similar improvements in personal motivation, management of emotional reactiveness, work/life balance, creativity and more.

I am always conservative when determining results such as those listed above. Let's be even more conservative by cutting the above ranges in half. What would a 10% to 17% increase in personal productivity, a 7% to 17% increase in teamwork or a 10% to 20% reduction in stress and worry mean to your organization? Since we know that stress impacts health, we can infer that there may well be an indication of reduced health care costs which, in turn, directly and positively impacts the organizational bottom line.

Let's examine a few of the other issues identified by our group of experts. Grievance resolution is one of the toughest issues on the list. Yet, one of our participants, using simple, proven techniques, reported a significant reduction in step 2 grievances by resolving them at the first step in the process. And in another specific example, a participant reported an increase in employee engagement. When he started applying the techniques, his direct reports viewed him as more approachable and presented an idea that, when implemented, saved the location the equivalent of 10 people per year. The impact on the bottom line is a savings of about $300,000.

I always enjoy stories from the transportation industry. When asked about improvement in resolving or managing conflict, one participant stated, "This is huge! I used to thrive on the conflict. Now I avoid it. It's a daily issue. Now I will talk between dock guys and drivers. Now we're not yelling and throwing stuff. It would get ugly sometimes - wresting matches at times. Drivers are rough around the edges and can get pushy/feely. I was always the first one to step up. This hasn't happened in awhile. Arguments don't break out now. I let people vent and explain why (the issue is they way it is) or I don't say anything (just let them vent and be heard)."

The point is that helping people at all levels of the organization to develop their EI skills helps improve or resolve multiple problems and issues. Rather than focusing on a narrow, targeted intervention such as conflict management or change management, or communication, consider leveraging your scarce resources with EI skill-building.
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Byron Stock has sinced written about articles on various topics from Emotional Intelligence, Vitamins and Emotional Intelligence. Specializing in the area of Emotional Intelligence skill-building, Byron Stock is devoted to making work a place where people flourish and productivity improves. Typical i. Byron Stock's top article generates over 5400 views. Bookmark Byron Stock to your Favourites.
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