Some of us believe that finding deep love is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that can only be shared with a soul mate. Losing a love who was once so close to our hearts can be a heartrending experience. Indeed, there are situations whereby it is best to leave the failed relationship alone. But, there are also instances whereby bringing that person back into our lives might be the very best thing to do. At the very least, we can try to re-open a line communication with him or her. Here I share with you 5 time-tested secrets you can use to re-connect with your lost love. Proceed with caution: these are affairs of the heart and require that you tread carefully!



Secret #1: Decide what you really want out of the relationship:

Before you try to contact your past love, decide within your heart what your intentions really are. Are you really ready to move forward and mend the relationship? Do you think it is the best thing for both of you? Are there legal or other considerations that you should consider before contacting your ex? The first step toward rekindling your relationship is to come to terms with what you really want.

Secret #2: Find out where they are now:

Locating the contact information or geographical location of your ex is easier than ever in the Internet age. There are a number of FREE online services that can point you in the right direction, such as Yahoo! People Search and ZabaSearch. Or, try a potentially more comprehensive for-pay option like Net Detective and PeopleFinders. Needless to say, when doing a nationwide search, the more information you know the more accurately you can pinpoint your ex.

Secret #3: Make initial contact:

The hardest part in your journey toward reconnection may be making the initial contact. Remember that your past mate may not be expecting you to contact him or her; therefore, great tact and gentleness are key. I suggest that the initial contact be a phone call or e-mail since these are less threatening than a sudden visit. Of course, it may be the case that an in-person visit is your only recourse. When you do get in touch with your ex, be clear that they have been on your mind. Then, request that you set up a separate time to talk so that your ex has time to collect his or her thoughts.

Secret #4: Be honest about your past mistakes:

Upon the second meeting or talk with your past love, it is important to first clear the air about your mutual past. The most important secret to potentially making your relationship work is to be brutally honest with yourself and your ex about the part you personally played in the relationship not working out. In other words: if you are not able to admit and then forgive yourself for your past mistakes, can you really expect your partner to do the same?

Secret #5: Be clear about your intentions:

During your meeting, it is very important that you let your ex know your intentions in attempting to re-establish contact. Like you, he or she will undoubtedly be going through a number of conflicting emotions and you must respect that. So, let him or her know how you feel and what your intentions are with your new contact. This is the point at which real dialogue starts and the healing can begin.