When we find that perfect mate, you feel happier than ever before, and capable of moving mountains. Unfortunately, break ups happen, and they can happen to anyone. Some break ups are permanent, while others can be undone with the right steps.

Do you want your ex back because you realize that you cannot or will not live without them? Here are some first steps for getting your ex back!

1 - First and foremost, you need to have a logical mind, not clouded by emotion, if you want your ex back. It's normal to be confused, to have too much going on in your mind, and if your thinking is dominated by the breakup your friends will be quick to tell you and it will be obvious to your ex as well.

You need to control thinking about how badly you want him or her back, stop stressing about the future of your relationship, and simply clear your head by focusing on steps to get them back. By staying focused, you will dramatically improve your communication with your ex, which will improve the chances of getting back with your ex.

2 - If you want your ex back, you need to avoid giving up who your are, that is, giving up your soul to them. It's normal to want to do everything humanly possible to get your ex back, but don't drop to your knees begging and promising the world simply because you want him or her back so badly. Instead, you need to be strong, stay calm, and believe you will do just fine without him or her. This attitude will set the stage when you resume communication with them. You will be on equal footing.

3 - What is your Wow! factor? You need to be creative here. The same old you needs to be done away with. Only a newer you is going to be much more successful when it comes to getting back with your ex. The old you contributed to the end of the relationship, so it is time to create a Wow! factor but be realistic. Do just enough to change your life, like exercising more, or getting a better job, changes that you will be able to maintain over the long run. Do something to create a better image of whom you are becoming, and your ex will surely notice and respond well to the positive changes. But, again, don't create something phony just to get them back. They will find it hard to believe and trust and you will never be able to keep up the charade for long.

4 - Never forget how the breakup happened. While you should not allow past mistakes to hang over your head, you should not forget about what led to the break up either. Take what happened in the past and honestly look at those events as a learning experience and a reminder of what you need to avoid repeating.

You are likely not 100% responsible for the breakup but you need to face what you did wrong and focus on correcting that behavior. Forgive and forget what your ex did wrong. This is the best way to make sure that you do not allow history to repeat itself, should you get back together with your ex sometime in the future.

5 - Create a solid plan of action and work your plan! Don't make the fatal mistake of hoping that if you just emotionally go all out, you'll have good results. Emotional action makes you appear "needy." This is a definite turn-off. You need to show you are the master of yourself and confident in whom you are becoming. So, instead of running on emotions, put a logical plan together, thinking logically and operating as if failure is not an option.

If you put some thought into the process you will be a lot more successful at scoring your ex back. Approach the situation with a plan and you will be able to get your ex back sooner than you might think.

Think of this like you would "job hunting". You want your ex to hire you back!