Self esteem is an integral part of personal happiness and fulfilling relationships. Self esteem is how much we value, love, accept and appreciate ourselves. It is reflected in the way we interact with other people and face life challenges.



Self esteem is not something we are born with; rather, how we were brought up plays an important role in its development. Here is a helpful guide for parents who want to build the self esteem of their children.

1. Praise your child. Always have a word of praise ready for any job done. No matter how simple or great an accomplishment is, praise your child. This makes him feel appreciated and encourages him to do more. The feeling of confidence is engraved in the psyche of the child.

2. Take time to listen. As parents, often times we fail to really listen to our children, often jumping to conclusions and giving our verdict. Children must be listened to. It is the feeling of getting attention from their parents that counts. When we listen to our children we give them a sense of being valued, accepted and loved.

3. Respect them. One way of showing respect to our children is in the way we speak to them. Whether in private or when in front of other people we must speak to them respectfully. Parents are the first people children interact with. We teach them to use kind words so it is only right that parents practice using them. Receiving respect is one way of feeding their self esteem.

4. A touch, a hug is more than just attention. Nothing is more comforting and fulfilling than the feeling of being loved. To a child the feeling that someone is there gives them a sense of security. And this attention gives them freedom from future insecurities.

5. Train to win. Allow them to compete. Teach the rule of sports: It is not about winning the game but how you play it. Achieving to win must be the objective but be able to support them when they lose. It is a self esteem boosting experience when they experience winning in early childhood.

6. Let them be surrounded by good and trustworthy friends. While children are still young we still have the chance to choose friends for them. It is however somehow dependent on the circle of friends we have because more or less the children of our own friends are the very ones they will be around with. So parents, be in good company yourself.

7. Give them room to make mistakes. We must learn the art of focusing on the positive and not on the negative. Teach them that committing errors is a natural thing and learning from mistakes is one of the great teachers of successful people on earth.

Childhood experiences lead to a healthy self esteem. Parents can make or break their child as far as this foundation is concerned. This guide to self esteem is effective as long as it is consistently practiced. We are role models to our children and they are intelligent individuals. They can detect sincerity or otherwise at a glance.

Logically the parents themselves must have good self esteem to be able to build it in their child. Children with good self esteem are able to handle mistakes, disappointments and failures. They are able to face the challenges of life. It is very important that parents be able to practice building self esteem in their children - their very future is dependent on it.