As toddlers learning to walk, talk and poke our fingers in electrical sockets, we instinctively understood that taking risks is necessary to grow. But as adults, we seem to fall out of the habit. Why is that?



Well, there's the fear of failure, of course, and the fear of being embarrassed, humiliated or chastised. But more than anything, I think, we're afraid of uncertainty, of not knowing what's going to happen. And the longer we put something off, the greater the uncertainty becomes.

Here's what I've found: the very moment I take the plunge and start doing something I was afraid of, I feel a huge sense of relief. Once the wheels are in motion, I have some say in what's happening - and, more often than not, the reality is much less scary than I imagined.

That doesn't mean all nervousness disappears. (If it does, then the risk isn't enough of a stretch.) The point is to get used to that feeling of being nervous, of being outside your comfort zone - that's the only way to expand your comfort zone.

Still, sometimes "just do it" isn't enough. Here are some other ways to entice yourself into strengthening your risk-taking muscle:

1. Pinpoint your fear. Sometimes we avoid taking a risk out of a general, undefined sense of anxiety even though there is often only one specific element that we're dreading. Maybe it's not networking per se that you dislike, for example, but simply that initial awkward moment of approaching a stranger to introduce yourself. Homing in on the specific point of resistance will prevent anxiety from coloring the whole activity and help you take action.

2. Channel the confidence you need. Are you waiting for that moment when you feel absolutely, positively ready to take a risk? Well, you'll be waiting awhile. Instead, identify people who demonstrate the kind of confidence you'd like to have - a colleague at work or a character in a movie (Joan Allen as the vice presidential candidate in The Contender works for me). Study them -- how they carry themselves, their mannerisms, their wardrobe - and then channel some of that confidence into your own performance.

3. Forget about the outcome. If you focus on the possibility of failure (whatever that means) or embarrassment (also subjective), then that increases the likelihood of that happening. Instead, ask yourself how you'll feel once you've taken the risk. Most likely, regardless of the outcome, you'll feel a burst of confidence and euphoric sense of "I did it!" (Conversely, ask yourself: "How will I feel if I don't do this?")

4. Keep score. In his book "Fight Your Fear and Win," sports psychologist Don Greene suggests keeping a courage log. Develop your radar for opportunities to exercise your courage, and then make note of the brave actions you take, big or small, whether cold-calling a potential client, expressing a dissenting opinion in a meeting or trying that hiphop dance class at the gym.

5. Reward yourself. Once you've logged a certain number of risks, 20 say, be sure to give yourself a reward. Ideally, it should be something tangible that you can see and feel - a unique piece of jewelry or desk ornament, for example - that will symbolize and remind you of your achievement.

Taking risks is like visiting a foreign country for the first time. You're bound to feel out of your element at first but frequent world travelers learn to enjoy the challenge of navigating unfamiliar environments and feeling comfortable being uncomfortable.