1) This is a game, only a game, it is not war and your neighbor is not the enemy. This should go without saying but feuds have begun and never ended over the exciting sport of golf. You should especially keep this in mind when playing your boss, there is no shame in letting your boss win.



2) The only person you should ever really play against is yourself. It sounds silly, but keep your old score cards; take note of improvements and declines (while everyone has a bad day a consistent decline could indicate a problem with your game). If you play only against yourself there really can't be any hard feelings when the game is over.

3) The looser always buys the beer. This works well if you are playing against yourself as I recommended. That way you are only buying beer for one. It makes for a much cheaper date.

4) If all seems lost and you have no club that will get the job done, a good nice kick could be in order (enough said).

5) Save the beer for the clubhouse and not the course. Hot beer tastes bad and you should never, ever drink and drive. You also never want to drive backwards on a golf course (see number 7).

6) The ducks on the driving range are not for target practice. Besides if you start aiming for them, the other birds might start aiming for you.

7) Let faster players go on ahead of you, especially in the beginning, besides it's always better to be behind in golf, most people don't shoot backwards if you know what I mean.

8) If you are having a bad round of golf, start playing silly shots. You just might find your game improves when you stop being too serious. Seriously.

9) Be considerate of those around you. Wear a belt and tuck in your shirt please. No one wants to see a full moon in the middle of the afternoon, especially one that is reflected by the sun.

10) Unless you want to be the take and bake of the day, be sure you pack your sunscreen. Lobster is great on the menu, not on the golf course. Besides we deal with enough pain on the course without adding to it.

I hope you realize that my top 10 list is somewhat tongue in cheek. There are however some pearls of wisdom in there, particularly about the ducks. My overall point is that golf, while challenging is supposed to be recreational. In other words, you're supposed to have fun. I hope my little list reminds you of that very fact and you think of this the next time you are getting ready for a game of golf (particularly as you dress, see number 9).