If you're like most of us, the last thing you want to do is turn into your parents. You've probably vowed to be different when you had your own children – but now that you do, are you noticing little things you say or do make you cringe, when you discover that you're repeating your parents' mistakes? You don't have to keep the cycle going. Believe me... if I can break the parental mold, so can you.



What makes me so sure? I come from a home with nine divorces. My mom struggled with alcoholism, my dad was a bartender, and my stepfather produced pornography for a short time... needless to say, my family was crazy! Today, I am a happily married minister and conference speaker. I speak to well over 100,000 people a year.

Maybe this sounds familiar to you. The statistics speak for themselves. At present, more than 70 percent of the world's families suffer from generational dysfunction and conflict. Often when the dysfunction is handed down to the next generation, the cycle repeats itself with greater severity. Parents struggle to keep their families from eroding as they helplessly watch their children – or themselves – fall into familiar patterns of self-destruction. Fortunately, there is a way to change your future.

So, how did I get from point A to point B? I had to leave my excess baggage behind. This is the simple five-step process I went through:

1. Learn to see things from a different perspective. I must realize that change is not only possible, it is part of my forecast. It will happen!

2. Learn where my destructive behavior comes from. I must identify my destructive habits and their origins.

3. Learn to start new and healthy habits. I must begin to replace those old destructive habits with new and healthy ones.

4. Learn to forgive and be forgiven. I must ask forgiveness of everyone I have offended and extend forgiveness to all who have offended me.

5. Learn to make friends who build me up instead of tear me down. I must form a group of trusted confidants who will push me to be a healthy person instead of pull me down to a lower level.

No matter what type of family you came from, you can overcome generational dysfunction. If you dread looking in the mirror one day, only to see one of your parents staring back at you, you can prevent what seems inevitable. You can become the parent you always wanted to have, instead of the parent you had while you were growing up.

It's never too late. Change is within your power. When you break the cycle, you will enable your children to continue your success, and start a new trend of generational function in your family.