You turn away and quietly walk the other way hoping he didn't catch you drooling. "Why couldn't I just say something to him?" is what you're thinking. All women go through this at some point in their life but it doesn't have to be that way!
Most women wonder if it's ok to approach a guy. Whoever said that it's the guy's job to make the first move is simply mistaken. Guys love it when a girl is outgoing and approach them, partly because they wouldn't have to do all the work.
It shows him right off the bat that you're interested and that takes a lot of the pressure off him. So make the first move ladies! This is definitely a great start to getting your guy to notice you.
Actually, it is not too hard to approach a guy that you want yourself. In this article, I will show you easy steps to get his attention and approach him. Here are they:
How To Approach A Guy - Step 1:
The first step is to get his attention, with eye contact and a nice smile. If you are walking toward each other, don't walk to fast, slow the pace down to give him a chance to notice you and feel the vibe. If he is seated or just standing get his attention with a little a stare and smile to see if he is interested in you.
Most guys that are interested will do the same, just smile and stare for a good amount of time to show your interest. It is about 3 to 5 seconds or a little longer but not too long. Don't make him think too much of himself or think you are a crazy woman with too long of a stare. This is acceptable if he is walking toward you. If he smiles back and stare the same, he is most definitely attracted to you.
How To Approach A Guy - Step 2 :
Walk directly to him, make sure he sees you coming, and say "hi" in a soft voice but appropriate voice. Don't forget to smile. That's not easy, but it sends out a strong confident signal and takes him off-guard.
Another thing I recommend is going to the bar. This is the easiest spot for approaching. It's always crowded here and people are waiting for their drinks. It is really easy here to start a conversation by simply asking something like: "can you recommend me a cocktail?" or "would you please order for me?" or something like that.
How To Approach A Guy - Step 3:
The second step is to speak to him. Next, listen to his tone in his voice when he speaks back. The first couple of words will let you know if he is interested in talking to you right now. If he smile and speak, you are in good position. The interest is on.
Remember, do not talk too much. Many women talk too much when they are nervous. This not only depresses the men, it annoys them. Let them do the talking, and just listen more than you talk. Nothing impresses the man's ego more than listening to him.
Finally, make sure when you approach a guy, it's not with a gaggle of your friends behind you. It will scare your guy away. It is like intimidation! Although I'm sure your friends are very nice, they should not accompany you this time (save that for the bathroom trip). A guy will feel more comfortable if it's just one on one. This will also give you guys a chance to get to know each other without having any interruptions.
How To Approach A Guy
Being able to converse with anyone is a great communication skill to possess. Too often starting a conversation is like going to war for many and not just for girls talking to guys. They want to experience the joy of winning by having a great conversation but what lies ahead of the person is a massive uphill fight as they battle with fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and lack of belief leading them to avoid the 'war' altogether by not even starting the conversation.
I'm going to hone in on how girls can start a conversation with a guy by discussing your inner game, routine questions, learning about the guy, listening, and picking up on small details, but these are fundamental conversational rules that can be used for anyone in many situations.
Say a girl comes across this guy at a shopping center who she would really like to get to know. However, she has inner voices telling her negative things such as "You can't do this", "He won't even like you", "You'll just make yourself look bad and embarrass yourself." You see, she has already lost the war.
Your inner self or what I like to call inner game is overly negative that you are drowning yourself and suffocating any chances you had in starting a good conversation. Winning on the outside starts with winning on the inside. Why should you even begin to worry about learning what to say when you can't even speak?
Learn to be self-aware of what is going on in your mind. I know it is easier said then done so I am going to teach you a technique to be positive and fight the negative.
Motivational speaker Wayne Dyer uses the phrase "no limit thinking" as a means of releasing yourself from your self-limiting beliefs. You have got to release yourself from these beliefs so you can confidently start and maintain the conversation with this guy. You need to stop placing limits within yourself by using a technique called "reframing".
Reframing Your Mind
Reframing is not at all a difficult technique to use. What it involves is changing how you interpret the situation you are having trouble in. Your aim in reframing is to create thoughts congruent with your goals and repeatedly affirm yourself of these thoughts. The girl at the shopping center would use the reframing technique by repositioning her current negative thoughts to positive ones about having a great conversation with the guy.
The more positive thoughts you create, the more you will improve your confidence and adopt a "no limit thinking" approach. Here are some negative thoughts the girl is overcoming and to the right of each one is a reframe the girl could use which she'd repeatedly say to herself:
- "I'm nervous." to "I'm nervous because I care about the situation."
- "I won't start the conversation well." to "I will start the conversation well as I can do with my other friends and other people."
- "I'm afraid." to "I wasn't afraid last week when talking to a new guy so I don't have to be afraid now."
- "He is so amazing and too good for me." to "He farts, burps, and itches himself like any other human."
- "He won't like me." to "I don't care if he won't like me because I'm the prize. He is the one losing."
Can you see now how easy and powerful it is to overcome your self-limits? Reframing is truly an amazing technique.
It may take a minute or two to come up with a positive interpretation of the situation but with practice you'll become better at it. It can be used in almost any situation to boost your confidence, to improve your happiness, and lead you to success.
Now that you've fought off your doubts, fears, anxieties, and uncertainties about having a conversation with the guy, you can now approach him and start a conversation. You just need to learn effective techniques to start a conversation with a guy.
Both Sarah Nichols & Joshua Uebergang are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
Sarah Nichols has sinced written about articles on various topics from Dating and Romance, Flirting Tips and Dating and Romance. If you want to have START doing what it is that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you. Then, you need to click here to learn The Secrets Th. Sarah Nichols's top article generates over 110000 views. Bookmark Sarah Nichols to your Favourites.
