It's a modern world, and you're a modern woman with your own job, your own life, your own apartment, etc, and yet, some things never change. You want to get married, but he hasn't asked you yet. What's wrong with him, anyway? You've been dating for a long time, it's obvious that you're going to be together for the long haul, so where's your ring?



There's a point at which it may seem as if you've done everything in your power to set the stage for wedlock. You clear all your weekends to spend with him, you're nice to his mom, you even put up with his habit of watching football in his underwear. You cook him nice dinners (see? You's be a great wife!) and you even do his laundry. You've even gone so far as to show him furniture catalogs, asking which sofa he likes best. And yet, he still hasn't popped the question. What can you do to get him to ask you to marry you?

1) Don't give him an ultimatum.

Yes, it seems terribly unfair that you've done all these wonderful things for him but he still hasn't taken the hint. But you're a big girl, and you chose to do all that cooking, baking and kissing up to relatives yourself.

He doesn't owe you anything for that. And chances are good that, if you put it that way to him, he'll tell you the same thing. It's never a wise idea to give a man an ultimatum - they don't respond well to them.

Stop letting him take you for granted. And oh yes, he does. After all, you've been completely focused on him for a long time now. You've done everything to please him, arranging your schedule around him, baking him cookies, cleaning up after him.

You want to get married, so you've done everything in your power to show him what a great wife you'd be. Well, knock it off! Our grandmothers had a saying: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

That doesn't just apply to sex - it also applies to the way you've made him the center of your world, making his life so comfortable that he doesn't see any reason to make a change.

2) Get a life of your own.

Which is related to the tip above. Stop spending all your time with him - go back to dating, which means getting together to do something other than laundry or TV dinners in front of the TV.

Go out with your own friends. Take a yoga class, or learn to knit. Whatever makes you happy, really, so long as it makes you a little harder to get. Look at it this way - he can only take you for granted if you let him. And besides, even if he does ask you to marry him, your happiness is entirely in your own hands anyway. Let him do his own laundry!

The results of this strategy will either be that he realizes what a good thing he has in you and pop the question, or you'll realize that there's more to life than getting a ring on your finger - maybe you'll even meet someone else who's as ready for marriage as you are!

3) Consider the kind of man you want to marry.

You want to be married to somebody who wants you heart and soul, forever and ever. Is this guy really that man? It may be possible to manipulate him into marrying you, but he may resent it later. Is that the sort of marriage you want for yourself?

If he's taking you for granted now, think about what he'll be like in five years, or ten, when you're cooking and cleaning and raising children, and he's still spending his weekends drinking beer on the couch and expecting you to pick up his dirty socks.

You deserve more than just a ring on your finger - you deserve a husband you adores you, and who pulls his weight around the house.

4) Ask him yourself.

There's no reason why you can't do the asking - just Don't do it in a peevish, "I think it's time we got married!" tone of voice. It can be as casual or as romantic as you wish. You can buy him a ring, or take him for a moonlight cruise, or bring him flowers and candy as a goofy sentimental gesture.

Just be prepared that he might say no. That would certainly hurt, but at least is would solve the mystery of why he hasn't popped the question, and you can decide where to go from there.

If you've been with a man for a long time and he hasn't asked you to marry you, he may not be ready yet. Or her may just be so comfortable in your relationship as it is that he doesn't want to rock the boat. If marriage is important to you, you deserve to know where you stand with him.

Just Don't pin all your hopes and dreams on getting a ring - marriage isn't a magical happy ending, and you still need to be a happy, strong woman in your own right.