My life was in shambles. I was verbally abusive to family and everyone I came in contact with. I was floundering in a sea of Depression, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. I also suffered from procrastination, and constant mental and physical pain. I had no energy or desire to get up in the morning. I would often sleep all day and rarely go anywhere. The physical pain was bad and it was increasing every day but I told no one about it. So people thought I was a miserable arrogant son of a bitch and deserted me.

This is who I was to my wife, stepchildren, and my son. It got so bad my wife through me out. She had enough of me. Why did this all happen? It would be a few years before the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia would explain things for me. It would be a few years too late to save my marriage and relationships with my stepchildren.

One Day I Just Got Up And Prayed For An Answer

I didn't sit and bitch and moan about my situation. I said to myself what could I do to make the most of life. What can I do to relieve the pain? How can I support myself? How can I be a good father to my son? The answers came to me one at a time.

How Did I Stop The Pain of Panic Attacks?

I turned to Self-Help products. Specifically using audio recordings. I listened to Tony Robins (who helped me quite a bit) Dr Wayne Dyer, Depak Chopra, and many others. It doesn't matter if you don't like some of the things that these people teach. I took what I needed and used it, leaving the rest behind.

These audios planted seeds in my mind that I could be a success both at work and in my family life. I wasn't promised take this pill or read this book or listen to this audio and all of your problems will be gone forever. No, I was given many different values some that even conflicted with one another.

On a conscience level a lot of what I was hearing made sense. But the big changes were happening at the subconscious level. By shear repetition of listening to the tapes I liked, I was preparing myself for a new way out of my problems. Becoming a different person one day at a time. Brushing off the criticisms of friends and acquaintances alike I persevered to become happy with myself like I have never felt before.

What Did I Do About the Physical Pain?

I finally gave in and accepted prescription pain killers and used them sparingly. I also found that hot showers and baths relieved the pain. I also used topical creams that I applied directly to the parts of my body that hurt. I also accepted that the physical pain I had was a major reason for my bad behavior.

I now had to find the faith in myself that I would overcome all of my problems, both physical and mental and be a great father and role model for my son. This is what I wanted from my life

You Can't Have It All At Once

At the same time that I was listening to my Self-Help audios, I was seeing a therapist. We just talked about my problems and he made suggestions as how to deal with them. One thing I learned very early is that you cannot break habits that took years or tens of years to make in a day or a month.

A New Lifestyle

This would become a new lifestyle,a fresh start. I was now unafraid to explore parts of my beliefs and value systems. I also learned how to manage my temper and become more balanced. I used to fly off into a rage or rant at the slightest thing that did not go my way. From start to today I have spent the last seven years of my life exorcizing my demons. Not all of them were successful the first time. So don't be afraid to try again or try something different if you don't succeed on your first try.

Steve Knorr is not a Doctor or a professional in the health care field and is not offering any specific medical advice. Any information you get from this article is for educational purposes only. You should consult with your Doctor or other healthcare professional before changing anything in your health management.