Are you in a position that interacts with customers or clients? Are you in a management or a leadership role? Would you like to improve your communication with someone else who is in a management or leadership role? Communication is the key to success in a professional capacity and in our personal relationships. Communication creates a bond between individuals, for better or worse, it can bring us closer together or identify gaps in understanding or appreciation. The most honest communication contains emotion and the ability to exchange ideas with passion.



Have you ever tried to have a conversation with an irate customer, an angry family member or a passionate coworker? Please take a moment to reflect on the passionate coworker. You know the person I am talking about, the one that will talk over everyone in the room to get a point across. The passionate coworker is the one standing to deliver a speech, even when it is not appropriate. He or she may be completely oblivious to the fact that nobody else is listening. The voice of the passionate coworker is slightly louder than it needs to be, especially during periods of heightened emotion. The same can said of the angry customer.

Passionate Communication comes in Waves

The next time that you find yourself confronted by the passionate coworker or irate customer, imagine yourself sitting on the beach and watching the waves roll up to the sand. Listen to the inflection, the rise and fall of the voice as the individual expresses ideas or perspective with emotion.

Typically, the emotional communication will build like a powerful wave gathering from an ocean of energy, enthusiasm or anger. Do not try to interrupt with your comments or exchange ideas while the emotional wave rises and gathers strength. Rather, allow the other person to speak freely and unfettered as they build on their own momentum, while you bask in the heat of the sun on your perch at the beach. You should relax and watch the wave of emotion grow with the verbal expressions of the communicator. Eventually the wave will peak, crash into the shore, and slowly pull back into the ocean.

After the emotional wave has crested and crashed into the sand with exclamation, and as it slowly rolls quietly back into the deep sea of thoughts that is when you should express your response. This is the time that the passionate coworker, the angry customer or the exuberant client is most receptive to your comments and ideas.

Sometimes you may receive several waves of emotional communication. If you are fortunate, the other individual may recognize the courteous rules of communication and support a balanced exchange of ideas. In some cases, the other individual may be so overwhelmed with emotion that additional waves may immediately rise up and come toward your shore. In such cases, simply relax and wait for the next set of passionate waves to reach the shore and collapse once more. With every new wave of emotional communication, there will be a brief period of reflection, sometimes just to take a breath or regroup thoughts, and that is when the other person will be most receptive to your communication. Wait for those moments and increase the effectiveness of your own communication.

It is rarely effective in dialogue for you to crash your waves of passionate communications into another person's feverish pitch. If both sides of a conversation attempt to rise above the other at the same time, it often results in a tropical storm or small Hurricane that drains both sides and drowns any potential benefit. Avoid that syndrome by making your communication more powerful. Wait to jump in when the tide is pulling back into the ocean and let the other person pull you into their thoughts and passion when they are most receptive.

From time to time, you may find yourself confronted with a tidal wave of emotional communication that has very little substance. Rather than confront the wave of emotion, either pull out your mental sunscreen or hop on your sensory surfboard and wait for the wave to collapse. Even a whale has to come up for air eventually.

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Words of Wisdom

"Communication is most effective when it translates a complex idea in a simple way."

- Mark Jarvis, Senior Vice President, Oracle

"If you can't listen, you don't have empathy - the ability to engage - and that's an incredible talent in business."

- Peter Crist

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."

- Peter Drucker

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About the Author:

John Mehrmann is a freelance writer and President of Executive Blueprints Inc., an organization devoted to improving business practices and developing human capital. www.ExecutiveBlueprints.com provides resource materials for trainers, sample Case Studies, educational articles and references to local affiliates for consulting and executive coaching. http://www.InstituteforAdvancedLeadership.com provides self-paced tutorials for personal development and tools for trainers. Presentation materials, reference guides and exercises are available for continuous development.