You want to find out more about Asperger's Syndrome, which is more and more common these days. You are learning about what doctors are calling the autism spectrum, which ranges from odd-normal on the one hand to seriously impaired, especially socially, on the other. You desperately want to help your child move toward normalcy on the spectrum. Do not give up! It is quite possible that he can. You need to provide him with situations that will give him self-confidence. If you don't, the world will deal him the opposite.



Your child can study music. He may even discover that he is gifted at it, as many autistic people are. He may have perfect pitch, as many autistic people do. Music lessons in childhood can bear fruit for a lifetime. But finding the right teacher can be a challenge. The typical teacher may be wary of an unusual student like yours. But a music therapist wouldn't, or perhaps a family friend or family member. Your student will require special patience and also a reward system for practicing. But you need a reward system anyway to get your child to do chores and homework without whining.

Children with Aspergers need to learn social skills--they don't come naturally. It is your job as a parent to find teachable moments and use them well. These moments may not start arriving until middle school, when the child is becoming more aware of those around him. He may figure out that he is isolated, and may not like it. When this happens, it's your turn to pull him aside and tell him how to replay a particular social situation, this time with a better outcome.

He may be ready for:

* Social skills groups with other Aspies taught by a professional. (Speech therapists are stepping into this need; so are social workers specializing in coaching kids with learning disabilities.)

* Guide him in a conversation game every day after school. You, the parent, can become the teacher.

* Sending him to a special-needs school that will help with this. I believe that mainstreaming the child without any support is not helpful. These children need careful coaching on how to interact with others, and protection from bullying.

Speaking of bullying, this is one of the most damaging situations for your child's feelings of self worth.

Your child if mainstreamed may be getting a lot more negative interactions than positive ones. To find out, you may want to volunteer at your child's school. If your child has an aide shadowing him, you can talk to the aide and ask him or her to protect your child from negative interactions with peers. Unfortunately, some negative teasing and bullying are tolerated in our culture. But they will be especially bad for your child, who can't defend himself.

* Homeschooling may allow you to protect your child from teasing. You can find out all about it on the Internet.

* A private special-needs school may be able to protect your child by controlling most interactions between peers.

To summarize, be sure to do all you can to protect your child's feelings of self-worth.