It was a sultry, southern afternoon the day my dear friend got married outdoors next to a romantic, cascading waterfall. The insects kept their distance for the most part, but the heat was definitely going to make for an uncomfortable half hour. Fortunately, my friend is a lifelong southerner, and she had it well covered.



Not only did she have a huge, galvanized bucket full of personalized bottle water, but on every seat were beautifully gift-boxed fan wedding favors, none of which remained in their boxes once the guests sat down. Let's hear it for low-tech air conditioning!

A couple of weeks after the wedding, I read Miss Manners' column in which a pregnant woman who was finding the summer heat unbearable questioned whether there were some places where it might be inappropriate for her to pull out a fan and wave with vigor. To Miss Manners' credit, she said, in essence, an uncomfortable pregnancy trumps any event, so go for it! She also said something about fans that I found intriguing—during the Victorian era, a woman used her fan to send valuable, short messages to others, like Twitter does today.

I found 32 distinct fan movements that convey what was improper to say aloud. Clearly, this had to be one of the subjects studied at Victorian etiquette school. Here are some of my favorites:

Hiding the eyes behind an open fan or drawing the fan across the cheek—"I love you."

Drawing the fan through the hand - "I hate you."

Drawing the fan across the eyes - "I'm sorry."

Half-opened fan pressed to the lips - "Kiss me."

Placing the fan behind the head - "Do not forget me."

Fan in left hand in front of face - "I am desirous of your acquaintance."

Fan held over the left ear - "I wish to get rid of you."

Letting the fan rest on the right cheek - "Yes."

Letting the fan rest on the left cheek - "No."

(NOTE: Don't you feel sorry for the gentleman unfamiliar with the language of the fan in those days. One misinterpretation, and he might find himself the victim of a vicious fan flogging. But I digress.)

Touching the finger to the tip of the fan - "I wish to speak with you."

Dropping the fan - "We will be friends."

Opening and closing the fan several times - "You are cruel."

Twirling the fan in the left hand - "We are being watched."

Fanning quickly - "I am engaged. I am engaged."

Fanning slowly - "I am married."

Covering the left ear with an open fan - "Do not betray our secret."

(NOTE: It might have been improper to say these things aloud, but, for heaven's sake, anyone who's watching your, uh, fanfare, is getting a pretty good picture of what's going on anyway.)

Hands clasped together holding an open fan - "Forgive me."

The number of sticks shown answered the question - "At what hour?"

Presenting the fan shut - "Do you love me?"

Placing the fan behind the head with fingers extended - "Goodbye."

So now I'm wondering if they ever put several of those sentiments together to make a point. For instance, imagine a fan-savvy woman of the day saying all at once "You are cruel. I wish to get rid of you. I hate you. Goodbye." It would either look like some kind of demure fan dance or she had completely lost her mind.

As romantic as fan language appears, I think I'll stick to Twitter - although, both methods of communication can produce a lot of hot air.