Being in a relationship is difficult enough as it is. The last thing anyone wants is to find themselves in a competition with their mate. If your lover finds himself feeling like a rival, your relationship is in big trouble. If you can detect the problem when it begins, you can avoid suffering irreversible damage to your relationship.



Who is susceptible to this sort of problem? Ambitious people, who tend to be drawn to one another, can find this competition destroying their relationship if they are not careful. If you are asking yourself if this is a problem in your relationship, it may already have gotten to a point of no return. Rori Raye has a term she calls "boy energy," which describes the type of energy that you use to accomplish great things. She tells us women to leave it out of our relationships with men, for this precise reason: it can destroy everything you have worked for.

When he starts to pull away from you, avoiding activities that involve competition, you can be sure that there is a problem. This could be as simple as a card game with friends at a dinner party, or even something as harmless as the jog you take together in the evening. If he begs off activities like this, chances are that something is up.

There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can't keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.

You need to understand the role that you play in his life if you want to really get why these things are destructive to your relationship. He wants to feel like you love him, respect him, and accept him. When you stop giving him the love, respect, and acceptance he needs, it begins to chip away at his confidence in the relationship. That doubt is poisonous.

You should begin to focus on solutions as soon as you recognize this as a problem. Instead of asking what his problem is, you need to ask what your problem is. The need to take away the glory from your partner and claim it as your own is actually an indication of insecurity. Only when you have reconciled this issue with yourself will you be willing and able to give freely the praise and respect that he needs from you.

If you take this relationship advice to heart as soon as you realize that there is a rift in your relationship, you stand a chance of resolving these issues. By putting yourself in his shoes, you can better understand the problem. Competition is a natural part of life, but it should not be a part of your love life! By saving your competitive energy for when it counts, and offering him the love, acceptance, and respect he deserves, you can turn your competitive relationship into one of mutual support.