You may be wondering just what is this group of people that are referred to as highly sensitive. We are not talking about a touching movie moment that seems to coincide with your partner getting 'something in my eye'. Even though they may be somewhat sensitive, the sensitivity meter does not end there. Shyness is a common trait amongst Highly Sensitive People (HSP's). Being around people is something that HSP's find difficult to deal with, especially when they are around people for an extended length of time. They are overwhelmed by external stimuli such as crowds of people or loud noise. Taking in or responding to this mass of information quickly exhausts them, and they then need to be alone, to recover from this sensory overload. The taking in and processing of this stimuli is largely unconscious. It is easy to see why they can sometimes be labelled as 'withdrawn' because that is exactly what they need to do in order to recover from the external stimuli that overwhelms there senses. HSP's are very observant and highly aware the external environment around them.



They are generally anti-social and are not able to adapt to change the way most others are. This leads them to be cautious, of people and their surroundings. They prefer having a small group of close friends as opposed to a large group of acquaintances. They also have difficulty expressing or feel unwilling to express their emotions. This is part of them building boundaries within which they can feel comfortable and above all else, safe.

These boundaries lead to problems when it comes to developing relationships, as they are highly conscious of not being hurt, and so, turn inwards in order to minimise the pain they may feel if a sudden change in a relationship and are left exposed or left feeling hurt. There lack of self-esteem drives them to attempt to please all people all those around them: something which is clearly irrational and flawed from the outset. This drive is often developed through past experiences that have lead to hurt or humiliation. By humiliation I don't mean public, but a deep feeling within them, that can have a devastating effect on their confidence and serves to reinforce the belief that they need to withdrawn from society or people to minimise the risk of further hurt in future.

HSP's are often very well matched for each other, as they all appreciate intimacy and prefer spending time with someone that understands them and the way they feel than forcing themselves into social situations they aren't comfortable with. They are able to notice subtle changes in there partners behaviour or mood, and have a deeper understanding of what they are experiencing. This can be of great benefit to both as they seek solace in an intimate relationship that they never grow tired of and in which they feel safe and secure.