Words are power. In a relationship words can and do make the difference between a failed relationship and a great lasting love. During those first hot months when you can't get enough of each other words help cement your relationship. Once you've settled into your relationship words will make sure it stays healthy...
In that early stage, we're flushed with that feeling of elation. It's like a drug they say, and that's because the brain is pumping out oxytocin which produce the same feeling as some drugs and interestingly chocolate! During this early stage it seems like you and your spouse will be together forever, and words don't seem to matter. Even if you hear something which might normally cause you to think twice, your body's chemical torrent will sweep you right past.
Once the relationship gets past that early stage though, when the relationship becomes serious and a permanent fixture in your life, it's *then* that the power of words can be seen, and they undoubtedly have the power to make or break the relationship.
It's important to keep saying the nice things you like about your spouse. During the early stage you will have said those nice things over and over, but his/her own feeling of elation meant that you could have been reading out the phone book and it would have felt the same!
If you tell your spouse what you like best about him or her after the relationship has settled in, it's much more likely to sink in. Thinking that your spouse knows how you feel is a mistake. Although he/she probably *does* know, there is nothing like actually hearing it to boost someone's esteem. Positive re enforcement is a powerful mechanism! When you're in a relationship it's easy to stop noticing the good things and get overwhelmed by the negatives. Make a conscious effort to note the good things you like about your partner or things they do.
Even more important is to not let the negatives become habit. The odd negative here, the odd criticism there, and it soon builds up from a trickle to a constant stream. There are plenty of ways to ask your partner for something using positive words. The key is to avoid putting your spouse down or using any negative words. Starting with a compliment or something like "I really enjoyed what you did last night..." can really help. Avoid attacking or laying blame on your spouse!
The problem is that it's much easier to just blurt out the negatives, but what this does is to build up layer on layer of negativity on top of the positive base of the relationship, and at some point the positive base will disappear, leaving nothing *but* the negative.
Try to compliment your spouse at least once a day. Find one thing that you can make a positive comment about, and then make it! Don't assume anything, it's always nice to hear good things! When a negative comment is on your lips, stop yourself and think how to use more positive words instead.
Those simple steps can stop the drip of negativity becoming catastrophic to the relationship, and turn the drip into a supply of positivity for a flourishing relationship.
To Save A Relationship After
Many relationships become strained once problems on lovemaking arise. During the first few months or even years in a romantic relationship, when and where to have sex may not be a problem for the couple. Because of passion, lust and love, both partners are all too willing to give in to each other's sexual desires. However, as the years pass by, especially during the arrival of children, the couple's sexual intimacy might start to go lukewarm, if not totally cold. This situation might go from worse to worst as the partners grow older.
If you feel that you are in the stage in your relationship where you no longer feel passionate for each other, then you should start to worry. Many men and women start to philander and enter into affairs once their sexual needs are not fully met. Although it is normal that lovemaking may not be as often as it used to, this act is still an integral part in strengthening your bond and love as a couple.
If you want to rekindle the old flame that your relationship used to have, read on and follow the tips below:
Talk About It
A lot of people end up getting divorced or separated because partners refuse to talk about the problem. Men are not usually expressive of their feelings and cannot easily air their grievances, while women are not very confrontational and are afraid to spark a fight. Many break ups can actually be prevented if only one or both partners bothered to talk and share their feelings.
If you think that you and your partner are having problems with regard to meeting each other's sexual needs, you need to talk about it. If you cannot do it on your own, you might want to hire a therapist or counselor that can help you with your problems.
Express Your Love
As you get older, you start to be busy with your work, raising a family and just making ends meet. You tend to forget to tell your beloved how important he or she is for you and how much you appreciate all the efforts that he or she has given to make your family and relationship work. However, people need verbal assurances and confirmations. Thus, it is important that you verbally express your love to your partner everyday. This small gesture will help rekindle the flame in your relationship, and might spark the nocturnal passion you are craving for.
Don't Forget The Role Of Foreplay
Non-sexual touching, holding hands, embracing, and caressing are helpful in igniting passion, which is needed in making sure that intercourse is satisfying for both partners. For women, foreplay starts with that kiss on the cheek, that loving embrace before you go to work, or that public display of love by never letting go of both your hands.
Synchronize Your Body Clock
If you want to reawaken your sex life, you have to get in sync with the body clock of your partner by going to bed at the same time. If one partner sleeps ahead of the other partner, then there will be less chances of having sex.
Do Something About Hormonal Changes
When women reach the menopausal stage, sexual libido will really start to lessen. Men should realize that this lack of desire to have sex is not because of diminished love. Women, on the other hand, should also find ways to keep the hormones at bay. There are therapies, herbal supplements, and kegel exercises that can help lubricate their vagina and maintain estrogen levels. One supplement that can help alleviate menopausal symptoms, including the decline in the desire to have sex, is Zalestra. Visit www.Zalestra.com for more information about this product.
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